Do not rush into romantic relationships

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sughead: Do not rush into romantic relationships

Until you’re ready, wait to date.

Now I’m going to disqualify myself from giving the advice above. I‘ve never been in a relationship, but I’ve known my heart’s unprepared.

I’m not strong enough.

I’ll be 21 soon, but my 11-year-old self still reappears.

I may be naïve about relationships, but I believe both partners should be mature.

I would be the most chivalrous man for my girlfriend. But, I know I can’t be clingy.

At least for me, it’s a problem if I couldn’t endure days or miles without her.

Nevertheless, men should be devoted to their girlfriends and be willing to understand their needs.

Maybe that means sometimes willingly stepping back to give her time and space?

I also once thought I’d somehow find a girlfriend down the road if I was a better “people person”.

So, I developed a “make friends with everyone!” mentality, especially toward girls.

Mastering interactions may not totally be a bad idea, but my logic was flawed.

I know a pastor who’s happily married, but he’s also madly in love with God.

I’ve seen it in his eyes … heard it in his voice…

He spoke to me tenderer than any other man I’ve ever heard.

He gave me some hope by pointing me in the right direction.

I needed to understand God’s love for me first. Then, (hopefully) the right girl will come later.

Three evenings later, I was reading my Bible alone. Suddenly, I thought about what he said, broke down and sobbed for a moment. I had seen God’s love in this man!

And, if that’s not enough proof, you should witness his classy demeanor on a bad night of basketball!

I guess I really needed that encouragement.

I’ve been afraid of experiencing Vulcan “pon farr” – mate or die a lonely and unhappy life.

But, it’s good to feel that assurance about God’s love for you when you fear a hopeless love future like me.

My selfishness has affected me so much I forget I’m not alone. A friend is always around me, I have to keep reminding myself.

Huh, maybe our faith would suffer if we had that relationship we desired right now?

One final good thing to know is “the threshold.”

I never was the type who wanted premarital action, believing in saving sex for marriage.

But, where do you draw the line with kissing or holding hands?

I do know that those less intimate expressions of affection lead to deeper ones.

Men lust for those deeper things. Sometimes, that’s the only thing they have on their minds once that testosterone kicks in.

And, that desire can compel them to hurt their girlfriends unintentionally.

This is why others and I believe a mature boyfriend must control himself.

Every man struggles with his lust. But, it’s really noble to see guys who confess this and set out to control themselves for their significant others.

I believe men can also fight this for those they’re also not close to if they truly love them.

And, it really is a beautiful thing to share this struggle with other guys, I soon learned.

A group of guys and I did as we stayed up late in a lounge this past spring.

So, guys, I encourage you to share this struggle with a group of trustworthy and non-judgmental guys. If you all have an X and Y chromosome, chances are you can relate with one another.

In the end, some of us may never experience romance with a special woman.

Although my stupid fantasies are very entertaining, my “Heart[’]s in Chains”, like the mellow Acoustic Alchemy tune.

Like many guys, I’m tempted every day. I see beautiful young women around campus and get butterflies.

But, I feel too guilty to feel attracted to them.

It’s not yet my day. Women are complicated anyway (Ha, no offense!).

Finally, here’s a saying I heard this summer: God will give you your Ruth. Or, (if you’re a lady, I guess) He’ll give you your Boaz.

If it happens, it will. It’s tough, but it’s better to wait than to make it happen yourself.

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