Being the insanely intelligent woman that I am, I sometimes have a difficult time focusing on my school work. My mind is constantly racing, trying to solve the issues of society.

I mean, just living in the dorms this year has enlightened me to a whole new world of problems like goldfish euthanasia and Hellenologophobia (fear of complex scientific terms) for example.

My friends, I say to you, look no further than beyond the glowing screen of you computer at 4 a.m.! When you’re working, your mind is riddled with questions about the inter-workings of the universe, so just do what I do: seek Facebook therapy.

I mean, come on, I’m not a member of 400+ Facebook groups for nothing! I’m making a difference! My voice is being heard! In the Facebook world I can feel good about being one of the necessary 100,000 users it takes for the group creator to sell his kidney to benefit Darfur. I’ve petitioned for a Nick Classic and for the mass production of Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

You know why? Because those are the issues that are really important to me. I mean, who needs sunlight or human interaction when I’m doing so much to improve society? Honestly, sunlight is overrated.

Not to mention the connections I’ve made with people who share my same psyche. I had to wipe away tears when I discovered the group “When I found out the Disney ‘D’ was a ‘D’ it blew my mind” as it sent me into a world where my childhood memories made sense to 86,706 other people! Not to mention the sense of community I discovered in “Those MySpace Ad Games are Addicting!” I had to bite my lip just so I could click the “join group” link. I then held my hand to my heart, cocked my head to the side and whispered to the other members, “I feel the same way, brother, the same way…”

So all you radicals out there, listen up! Put away your banners, and stop your protests. How long have we been doing that in vain? The new generation of movers-and-shakers know what’s up. It’s all about the ‘book, man. All I am saying is give groups a chance!

Amy ([email protected]) is still joinging groups. Please help her.