Tailgating, brought to you by far too many companies

In response to the University outsourcing the concessions used for “sideline munchies” and changing the rules on what food can be served during tailgate parties for campus groups [ “University booze brings the blues,” “Sideline munchies see a switch,” Sept. 26], I applaud the University’s efforts on cracking down on these obvious disregards for the growth of the campus.

The University, sponsored by Jimmy Johns, McDonalds, Wendy’s, Pepsi, Gatorade, Pabst Blue Ribbon, BP, Marathon, Papa Johns, Starbucks, Enron, Lego, the NRA, Philip Morris, Doritos, Stay Puft Marshmallows, Martha Stewart, NAMBLA, Nikon, Nabisco, MD 20/20, Meijer, Hershey, Nintendo, Macintosh, Microsoft, ACME, Rolling Stone, Sean John, Reebok, Darren’s Dance Grooves, Jazzercise, Vintage Coins and Collectables, TAB, Carnegie Steel, Milton Bradley, Modern Woodman, the Ford Motor Company, and “Tough Actin” Tinactin, is finally taking time to punish those who have taken advantage of these loopholes for countless years.

People that cook their own hot dogs in promotion of their campus group before games need to be restricted and dare I even say, the board of health should step in to regulate that these cooking conditions are up to par.

Anyway, wouldn’t these groups benefit more growth by serving a cold Mountain Dew with a 6-inch cold cut trio made fresh from Jimmy Johns? Not only do we promote the economy and please the stockholders by these new regulations, we are setting the bar for other universities across the country.

The only thing I can hope the University will focus on next is Beer Pong regulations – heck some people don’t even use regulation size boards and somehow permit the stacking of cups, the heathens.

Nonetheless, game day for football games will be a safer place because of these new regulations. Thank you and I’ll see you at the Doyt!

– Adam C. Bowman Junior, Political Science