He Said

The time has finally come. After months of wondering if Harry ends up dying, the answers are here. With the release of the book this weekend, I went took a trip downtown to notice that everywhere in the city people are reading the last installment of the Harry Potter series.

If your not into Harry Potter and never see yourself being a fan, don’t worry because it is the last installment. If you’re like me you believe that Harry Potter is a kid’s book, merely just another fairy tale to enlighten children.

Now, if you’re girlfriend compares you to the great and powerful Harry Potter, trouble may be on the horizon.

For instance, Potter masters the dark arts, kind of like Sting with his tantric meditation. He’s also got a cool scar, has beaten the Dark Lord in a few occasions and he’s the only guy ,I believe, who really knows how to use a broom. But most importantly and this should woo the ladies: he knows how to use his wand.

Me, I could never live up to the great expectations that my girlfriend, who is obsessed with the books, has laid out in reasons stated above. When it comes to the comparisons of Harry and I, he takes the cake. He can save the world of wizardry while going to wild, exotic places and all I have are loads of sports stats and music trivia.

Now, for some who may be worried that your significant other might be obsessed with the book, come with me as I share some potential deal-sealers that may give some insight.

For starters, if she dressed up like a character, like “Mad-Eye” Moody, for the release of the book, it may give you reasons to worry. Not much is creepier than a grown woman dressing up like a guy with a crazy eye attached to her face.

Another example: you two are at a bar – and yes this is a true story I heard – she’s actually reading the book at a table excluding herself from all social activity.

How about this one: instead of taking a nice afternoon for a romantic picnic, she would rather go off and play a game of Quidditch with her team called Ravenclaw. Yes, this game does exist in some places.

Now if you two are in debate about the greatest villain of all-time, after you say Darth Vader she responds that she has you beat by saying Lord Voldemort, she has lost all touch with reality because let’s be honest, “Star Wars” has it beat.

But nothing cuts deeper than when you two are arguing and she drops the “You’re nothing but a Mudblood,” bomb on you. When they start using the Potter-vocab, your time may be up because you have nothing to say after that.

These are just a few examples to watch out for if you’re dating a Potter-maniac. But if you insist on fighting for your relationship, just remember it’s the last book and there’s only two more movies left.

Additional note: My girlfriend helped me out in all information provided.

She Said

So you have the perfect relationship. The chemistry is there. He gets along with all your friends. The parents adore him. He’s committed. He can even finish your sentences.

But the true way to find out whether or not this relationship will stand the test of time relies on one single factor: is he a Harry Potter fan?

It may seem a little backwards. If you already have everything you could possibly want in a guy, why does it matter if he reads fantasy novels?

For starters, Harry Potter is the topic of many conversations these days. With the recent release of both the fifth movie, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” and the seventh book, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” it is hard to imagine a relationship where your partner has no interest in this pop culture phenomenon. Seriously, what are the two of you going to talk about, the weather?

After conversation dies, it’s really all going downhill from here. Your friends will start gossiping about how uncultured your boyfriend is, especially when you show up at the theater without him. As for your family, if he doesn’t want to read the Harry Potter series to your little sister, then forget reading to her at all.

The fact of the matter is, that if this guy is so adamant about living a Harry Potter- free world, then he isn’t very committed to you. Everyone knows commitment and Harry Potter go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Remember when he used to be able to finish your sentences? Well, he can’t do that anymore because he doesn’t know what happens next in the book.

Your relationship went from incredible to non-magical in a split second, and it’s all because you did not take the time to find out his true feelings about Harry Potter.

Now, you might be thinking that his attitude toward Harry Potter currently has no real effect on you. The two of you don’t have to agree on everything, right?

When it comes to Harry Potter, there is no compromising. If there is any hope for the future, this is the key element of its success.

Though it’s a ways off, you might have children. How shattered will their dreams be when daddy refuses to read them J.K. Rowling’s magical tales?

If fighting didn’t occur back when the final book was released this past Saturday then you should prepare yourself for World War III, or maybe a divorce.

So do yourself a favor before any heartbreak occurs, drop the muggle at the first indication of distaste for Harry Potter.