PLEASE HOLD FOR THE MAD BOMBER: Nikita Kotiadis, a company executive in Greece, realized he wouldn’t make it to Athens Airport in time for his flight to Brussels, so he had his secretary call Axon Airlines for him, and, after she made the connection, told the guy at the other end that there was a bomb on the plane. It worked. The flight was delayed, but Kotiadis didn’t realize that his efficient secretary identified him to the airline before putting him through. He was arrested as soon as he got to the airport.

SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING WENT DARK: Gladys Wyse thought she reached for the eyedrops but actually grabbed the superglue and then proceeded apply it to her irritated eye. The New Jersey woman realized her error when she found she had glued her eye shut. She was rushed to the hospital where the docs took care of it. No damage.

THE BIRD IS OURS NOW, MY FRIEND: Troops in India captured a falcon that was trained to spy on them by Pakistani rangers. The bird was fitted with an antenna and radio transmitter, and was apparently sending signals back to Pakistan as it flew over border areas. The two countries have fought three wars in the past 50 years. Fifteen minutes after the bird was captured, the Rangers asked for a meeting to discuss the matter. Request denied.

THAT’S A BIT STEEP, ISN’T IT? In Finland, there are no set fines for traffic violations. They are linked to a driver’s income. As a result, 27-year-old dot-com millionaire Jaakko Rytsola was grabbed for doing 40 in a 25 and fined $71,400.

LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON: Patrick Hayes had a passionate encounter one afternoon in an apartment in Pittsburgh with Jewel Vermillion, an enchanting dame he had met not long before. And he didn’t stick around long afterward either. The tryst, which took place 59 years ago, produced a son named Jack Hayes, at least according to the very same Jack Hayes, who is currently trying to get an inheritance from Patrick, his alleged father, who died in 1998 at age 84 without leaving a will. To prove Patrick is his daddy, Jack had him exhumed for DNA tests after a 21-month court battle. Results are pending.

CAR, CAR, CAR, CAMEL, CAR: Motorists on the southbound highway to Ludwigshafen, Germany, told police they thought they saw a camel running along the road. They were right. The beast had escaped from a nearby circus. Police herded him into a courtyard where they captured him.