Sometimes it’s best to just let it go
April 10, 2009
At one point or another in our lives most of us have had to learn to let go of something we cannot control. For me, throwing my hands up in the air and giving up any hope of control goes against every part of my being, because I am the sort of person that likes to be in charge of my life and feelings. We can lose strict control over anything. It could be your future career. It could be a difficult class you struggle with. The source of your frustration could even be a rough patch with family. If you begin to dump time and energy into something that is going nowhere, other parts of your life can begin to suffer. You could have trouble focusing on school, or perhaps you go out too often to take your mind off things. Maybe you stayed at home too much; everyone reacts differently. Regardless of what’s going on, at some point in time you start to evaluate the situation and realize something must be done. My frustrating situation wasn’t about a career or school; it was, of course, about a boy. Without revealing too much juicy information, signals were misread and feelings were developed for a newly met friend. When revealing my feelings, they were not returned, yet a ‘friends with benefits’ position was offered. This person isn’t a bad person, in my opinion; he was just being a guy. What’s good for some isn’t good for others. As many people have learned the hard way, the physical is not going to make someone care for you. This brought me to the very situation I mentioned before-dumping time, effort and emotion into something going nowhere. Sure, you could keep striving, worrying and getting upset over silly things. But is that really the best thing to do? I took a deep breath, explained I wasn’t willing to settle for second best in the hopes of more, and let it go, even when it hurt. Sometimes, giving up control feels like jumping off a cliff without knowing there is a safety net to catch you. I’ve had several times in my life where I’ve relinquished control and had to start over, both with changing my major and having excessive difficulties in classes (chemistry). I discovered a funny thing, though. Taking the plunge and counting on those who care for you to catch you is strangely empowering. I’ve discovered I have a stronger safety net than I thought, and knowledge is the most freeing thing I’ve experienced in awhile. Sure, being in a bad spot isn’t the most pleasant of situations. It’s painful. Finding out just how lucky I am to have great friends, though, will give me a lot more happiness and benefits in the long run. It’s also given me the chance to focus on what’s truly important in life. Through all the changes I’ve experienced in the past year, I’ve discovered I am a stronger person than I ever dreamed I was. It’s time to give supportive figures in our lives more credit. If you feel like you are going it on your own too often, don’t! Just as you have been there for them, let them be there to help you out. I’d be willing to bet those who care about you will be more than willing to give you a boost up. You might be pleasantly surprised.