At the beginning of the semester, I wrote of all of the big things I expected to happen to me and my family in the coming year.
There was one exciting thing that I didn’t know about yet at the time—I’m going to have another child.
Well, technically my wife is, but we do everything together, so non-technically, I’m having one too.
We are thrilled to be expanding our family, but like most exiting things in life, it doesn’t come without a big splash of fear mixed in.
Although, this isn’t the same type of fear that came along with finding out that my wife was pregnant with our first child, Libby, in 2008.
Then, it was all about fearing the unknown. It still is, because all pregnancies (and children too, for that matter) are different, but not in the same way.
With the first pregnancy, there was a period where all I could think of was, “Who would let me be a father? My eating habits alone should disqualify me.”
There was the question of, “Can we do this?”
I asked this to my wife when my daughter was three days old, when it felt like neither of us had slept in about three days.
But as time went on, we found our chi. By relying on each other, (and my awesome in-laws as well) we got through those first few rough months.
It’s like that with any big life transition. At first, something seems undoable, then it becomes a little easier, then so natural to you that you forget how you could have ever done things differently.
When Libby was born, it was hard to think of myself as a dad. In fact, in the hospital the evening she was born, I picked her up and said, “Come here and see Uncle Matty,” before remembering that I was not picking up a niece or nephew but rather my very own daughter.
After that, I got used to the idea of being a dad, but still held onto a little of the vanity that goes along with being a single person. Then I found myself unable to imagine my life without being a father to my child(ren) and a husband to my darling wife.
This time, there are not any of the “can we do this?” concerns, because I not only know that we can do it, but also I believe we’re pretty good at it.
I worry about everything else though, like the health and safety of my wife and unborn child, financial prospects for the future, living long enough to see both of my kids as confident, successful adults and the list could go on.
There are also melancholy aspects that I think of, like the fact that this will be the first grandchild my parents will never get to meet (they passed away in 2008 and 2009 respectively).
But spending time focusing on these things would send even a wooden man into a deep depression, so I try to focus on happier thoughts.
One of my favorite things about being a parent is that the hopes and dreams you have for your children know no bounds.
My future kid might be an astronaut and discover life in a faraway galaxy or become president of the United States, or other things I never even dreamed of.
Regardless of what he or she becomes, I will always do my best to make sure they know they’re loved and always have someone rooting for them to succeed. And I know my wife will too, because like I said earlier, we do everything together.
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