Miss D,

I have sort of an interesting situation and I don’t want to ask any of my friends about it because they are really judgmental about this kind of thing. I was hoping to get your independent opinion.

So I started dating this guy I’ll call “Mark” who I met at a campus event last school year. At first, he was really considerate and sweet, and I really liked him and we hit it off great. After awhile, he started spending less and less time with me and it was hard to get him to really show a lot of affection.

The worst part came on my birthday; Mark took me out to a nice restaurant in Toledo, but for my gift he bought me a bowling ball.

I didn’t know how to bowl, nor did I care to learn. But he was really into it, and for some reason thought it’d be a good gift for me.

It was a really nice, new ball that had my name written on it, but he had the holes designed to fit his hands, which are much bigger than mine.

At first, I was really angry, but Mark was the first boyfriend I had at college and I didn’t want to break up with him. I thought maybe a good way to get his attention would be to learn how to bowl and we could share that together. I didn’t care about bowling but I just wanted us to finally be around each other more and I figured this would be a good way.

So I registered for a bowling class spring semester last year to learn how to bowl.

I used a ball at the bowling alley because the one Mark got me didn’t fit. He ended up just using that one himself [I think it was just a selfish gift for himself knowing I wouldn’t use it].

Well, here’s the problem. On the first day, we were randomly paired off into bowling teams, and Miss D, I was paired with a really nice guy.

He and I really connected and I actually had a good time learning and being around him every couple days during class time. I haven’t told Mark about this guy, but I really like my bowling partner and I don’t know what to do now.

Should I be honest with Mark and break it off with him to go with the new guy? I’m afraid to keep having this secret fling.

-Lost sophomore in Falcon Heights

Dear Lost Sophomore in Falcon Heights,

Mark gives you a present that you believe is more for him than yourself, right? It’s made to fit his fingers and you didn’t know how to bowl. He is even the only one using the gift, so how is that really for you?

But the most important question I could ask you is this: Are you happy? Are you happy with Mark?

If the answer is no, then forget about Mark, he doesn’t deserve you and you two are better off trying to find happiness with other people.

You’re in college. Have fun and find someone to have fun with. This other guy seems to be for you right now.

If you met a guy who is nicer, who you enjoy your time with and doesn’t mind being seen with you, then go for it. Just because Mark is your first boyfriend, it doesn’t in any way mean he is the right one or the only one.

Good luck and go with your heart and how you feel rather than the fact that Mark is your first boyfriend. Taking a risk and going after what can make you happy is the best risk worth taking, and even if the feelings aren’t returned. It’s only a semester long course. I’m sure that after you try, no matter how the story ends, you will be happy you did what you did.

Yours,

Miss D

Do you have a problem you would like Miss D to answer? Email it to The BG News at [email protected]