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September 29, 2023

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Do not waste time on toxic friends

Almost everybody has at least one friend in their lives who doesn’t quite fit the label.

Friends are supportive, loving, helpful and fun to be with. So what do we call those who once showed these characteristics, but transformed into something else over the years?

Those people who put you down, ditch you for their other friends and always come to you with their problems but never seem to be available to return the favor?

What should we do about those friends who are self absorbed, stress you out and constantly seem to disappoint?

You swear to yourself every time you talk to them that it’ll be last time, but find yourself being pulled into their world again and again.

These people are toxic friends, and they make the lives of real friends miserable.

Many people say the solution is rather obvious — you need to “break up” with them.

But real friends usually have a hard time doing this. They feel a sense of guilt and loss of any good moments during the span of the relationship. After all, how do you sever ties with those who once felt like family?

In my experience, there are two ways to deal with a toxic friend.

You can confront them, end the relationship if they refuse to change, and move on with your life.

Or, you can defer the status of your friendship to “relationship limbo,” where you put distance between yourself and that person by acting more as an acquaintance than a close friend and hope they take the hint.

I’ve done both and I can’t say which is the better option. Both bring a little heartache, but a lot of relief, too.

What I’ve realized about toxic friends is that they’re not worth the time or the energy that it takes to keep them happy.

No matter how hard you work, you’re never going to have the normal friendship you once had.

It’s sad, but it’s true.

Plus, once you face that hard truth, you can decide how you want to deal with it in a way that works for you.

The thing about college is that it’s a time where you have opportunities to change aspects of your life that aren’t working out.

So, if you’ve been dealing with a toxic friend for a long time, now could be your opportunity to end it.

College offers a lot of ways to meet new people, including interesting clubs, fun classes and special events.

Start focusing your attention on people and hobbies that leave you feeling good about yourself and your life.

You only have one, and once you start living it in a way that makes you feel fulfilled with people who genuinely care about you, you’ll wonder why you ever wasted your time with someone who made you feel like you’re nothing.

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