I have doubts, and lots of them.
The Gospel at church today was all about Thomas and his doubts.
It’s not that I don’t believe Jesus died and rose from the dead.
I absolutely do. It’s just the details I’m a little less secure on.
I never thought I would get to this point.
I was super religious in junior high and through most of high school.
I horrified my older sister when I told her that I would never, ever in any circumstances have sex outside of marriage, and if I did, I would never use birth control — because that would be a double sin.
No matter how many times I heard from my teachers that staying close to the faith in college would be a challenge because of proximity to all sorts of religious views, I did not believe them.
No way would I ever miss Mass, or not wear my Miraculous Medal, or not be secure about communion being the real deal.
And then I got to college. Since I spent my first year at a community college, this is not your textbook tale of a freshman girl gone wild, away from rules for the first time.
My second year, I transferred schools and fell in with the dominant nondenominational group on campus, largely because they were the first people I met there.
That was where I first had my faith shaken in “Things That are Not Explicitly in the Bible” as a category.
These include purgatory, and a bunch to do with Mary.
Who knew Jesus wasn’t an only child, or that Mary wasn’t always a virgin and died like a regular person without all the glamorous assumption into heaven and coronation as queen of heaven bit?
I am not saying I believed all of this, but I certainly thought twice.
I’d like to say by now I have come to terms with the opposing things I have heard from others and through research, but that would be a lie.
I suppose the moral of my story here is for those out there who have doubts and aren’t sure they’re sold anymore on what they grew up believing.
This is a time for you to explore and find out for yourself what to believe.
Shop around; there are lots of places to worship on and off campus.
Find something that works for you.
Respond to Abigail at
