First high heels, then hose, now … a bra that conveniently unsnaps itself when a man, or anything else, gets a woman’s heart beating fast.

What will men think up to demean women with next?

Men have messed with women’s whole bodies and everything they wear, eat, use, etc. to make it more amenable to men. And bras were like that too. There are lacy bras, cupless, strapless, pasties and more to make men salivate.

But can’t the closing of the bra just be up to the woman?

Apparently not.

A company in Japan has created what it calls a “true love tester” bra.

It senses that your heart rate is rising and wham! It snaps open, ready for the supposedly smitten woman to unbutton the rest of her clothing.

As a bra-wearing member of society, and a person with a stake in this story, I had a variety of strong reactions.

First of all, no bra can decide when I’m ready to unsnap it; only I can. The fact that anyone [actually two men] think bras should automatically unsnap when a woman’s heart rate increases is ludicrous.

So is the thought that they should unsnap when the bra thinks a woman is in love.

First of all, a woman’s heart rate could increase for many other reasons. For instance, I’m pretty sure mine bumps up a notch or two when I’m nervous, when I’ve had too much caffeine or when I’m scared.

Sorry, but when I’m on a roller coaster or in a class after my first [several] cup[s] of coffee, I prefer my bra to stay firmly snapped.

And, whether or not I’m in love, I’m pretty sure I can decide when and where to unsnap my bra and can figure out how to do it on my own.

Thanks to Japanese men, for the forethought and attempted innovation, but there are many other things wrong with bras. Also, I take a little bit of offense at the idea that I may not be able to unsnap my own bra or judge on my own when the time is right.

Uncomfortable as they are, I don’t think random opening needs to be added to the complications that already exist with women’s undergarments.

Instead, let’s try to make the contraptions comfortable and wearable. Women wear them every day. I’m sure their first concern with them is not how to get them open when they fall in love. At least it’s not mine.

And who said it should be? I think of myself and my comfort before I think of how prepared my bra is when I’m with a nice boy.

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