When my grandfather passed away the day before Halloween this year, a friend of mine told me, “Fonzie, the first year is always the hardest.”

I didn’t really give it much thought until recently with Thanksgiving approaching. And man, was my friend right.

Thanksgiving and Christmas have one person less to see or call on those days. Your birthday passes by without them telling you “Happy Birthday” and the same applies when their birthday approaches.

But it isn’t just the holidays that have me down about missing my grandpa; it’s everyday life that depresses me, too.

I think we forget that as we get older, the people who have loved and raised us get older, too. We are so busy growing up that we forget everyone we love is growing older.

And death comes as a harsh reminder that everyone else grows up while you do, too.

I have always had a hard time dealing with death. I struggle for months afterward when someone I deeply care about passes away.

But often, I find myself repressing these feelings because it always seems as if everyone else has moved on from the person’s passing, so I try too as well.

But it is still so hard, almost a month later, to handle what has happened. It is so hard to cope with the idea that my best friend and a man who has been around my entire life is gone.

A lot of times, people struggle with sleep when they’re in mourning. But sleep has come so easy; it is being awake that terrifies me.

I have not been able to focus in my classes, no matter how hard I attempt to do so. I have been almost constantly forgetting about assignments, readings and big projects.

And for my friends, it is like pulling teeth for them to get me to come out of my room to do things that aren’t watching Netflix or doing homework I had forgotten about. A lot of times, it seems like the people around me are impatient or annoyed by me because I’m affected so deeply by my grandpa’s death.

While grieving is an important part of moving on — and while being able to move on from something and not letting it stop you from living is important, too — I encourage you to be patient with people in times of sadness and mourning.

Death affects people in different ways. Sometimes not at all and sometimes for an extended period of time.

If you know anyone who has just lost someone — whether they lost a friend, a relative or even a pet — please be patient with them.

Give them the opportunity to mourn in their own way, regardless of how long the process is. It could be a few days, or maybe even a couple of months.

I guarantee if you are patient with people in a time of loss and allow them to mourn the way they need to, they will return out of the grieving process feeling much better and more grateful for your patience than you think.