There I sat, in my seventh-grade classroom when my best friend, Christina, slipped a note into my desk that read, “My mom has cancer.”
As I unfolded the note, I felt as if time had paused as I reread the lines over and over again. It was something so tragic and it will forever be etched in my memory.
Without saying a word, I looked up at her face and felt the pain of her choking back her tears.
As my best friend, we had such a close bond that it allowed me to understand and feel her emotions even when we couldn’t physically express them.
Could this be for real? She would never joke about something like this.
Why is she telling me in a note? Maybe it’s the only way she could say it.
How could this happen? Why is this happening? Why her?
All these thoughts were filling my head to its capacity and I just couldn’t get a good grasp on the concept—Christina’s mom has cancer.
When your parents would warn you to brush your teeth or you’ll get cavities, or to wear a hat outside or you’ll get sick, as children, we ultimately think we’re invincible and nothing bad could possibly happen to us.
At 12 years old, I would have never thought something like this could happen to me or to the someone I deeply care about.
What will happen now?
What do I even say?
How can I possibly make things better?
It was hard for me to comprehend that I couldn’t just fix her suffering with a gift, or with endless amounts of her favorite ice cream. It was something that I wasn’t sure of how to cheer up my best friend, or if I even could for that matter.
With my mind just overwhelmed by my thoughts, I reached my hand out for hers and held it ever so tightly. Then, at that very moment, I knew exactly what I was going to do for Christina.
Although I wanted to shower her with the cutest nail polishes and the yummiest desserts to help ease her pain, what I knew I needed to do was simply be with her as her support.
For the next few years, I was Christina’s support.
Whenever she needed me, I was there. I would be the shoulder to lean on and the person to confide in. I was there to carry her through the hardest thing she would ever have to experience.
I chose to be along her side, even if it met I had to witness my best friend go through so much pain—I was there.
Unfortunately, throughout life we all will go through the experience of losing loved ones and our experiences will all be unique, but ways to cope with the pain can always start with just a little bit of support.
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