Independent student content

BG Falcon Media

Independent student content

BG Falcon Media

Independent student content

BG Falcon Media

Support BG Falcon Media!
As part of BGSU's One Day fundraising effort, every dollar you contribute to Falcon Media will go directly to helping us continue to produce quality content. Every dollar helps. Donate here
The BG News
Follow us on social
BG24 Newscast
March 28, 2024

  • Visiting Author: Sheila Squillante
    Last week, the visiting author, Sheila Squillante, presented the art of creative non-fiction at BGSU. Last year, her memoir came out. From Chatham University in Pittsburgh, PA, Squillante visited BGSU, last week. Previously, she has published collections on poetry, but most recently, her memoir, All Things Edible, Random and Odd  was published in 2023. “I […]
  • Petrofiction Review: Oil on Water
    Here’s my review of Oil on Water by Helon Habila – a petrofiction novel which won The Commonwealth Prize and Caine Prize. For context, petrofiction stems from petroleum and fiction. A specific text that focuses on petroleum culture in political economics and environmental impact. Although Habila’s novel begins with a journalist investigating a kidnapping, the […]
Spring Housing Guide

Gender stereotypes, miscommunication can hinder relationships among people of all gender identifications and sexual orientations

Sophomore Ray George’s relationship with his girlfriend started in a bit of an unconventional way.

“I actually didn’t ask my girlfriend [out] on our first date,” George said. “She asked me out first.”

Marissa Oehlhof, an instructor in the Psychology department, said one of the traditional gender stereotypes is for men to initiate relationships.

“Men have a responsibility to do all of the asking, to take the risk, whereas the women are kind of waiting around to be asked,” she said.

Other stereotypes include an expectation that men are oversexed and “ready to go,” while women are perceived to be undersexed and “in control of their urges.”

This can lead women to suppress their natural sexuality for fear of being looked at as promiscuous, and it can also affect men, Oehlhof said.

“Alternately, guys who aren’t looking to just have sex with anything that moves kind of get this negative stereotype as well,” she said. “Like ‘What’s wrong with you? Do you not like me? Am I not pretty enough? Are you not into me? Are you gay?’”

“It’s damaging,” she continued. “Guys aren’t ready-to-go sex machines 24 hours a day any more than women are.”

Stereotypes can affect same-sex relationships as well.

Tobias Spears, assistant director of the LGBT Resource Center, said same-sex couples can feel pressured to fit into a “homo-normative box.”

“We’re taught that relationships look like a man and a woman,” he said. “We sometimes even bring that into spaces where same-gender and same-sex people have relationships.”

In same-sex relationships, a common question among men is who will be the patriarchal, controlling figure, while women also feel a push to identify as a more feminine “lipstick lesbian” or a more masculine lesbian, Spears said.

People’s roles should not be dictated to their gender expression or sex, and these roles develop out of routine, Spears said.

“Those notions are so outdated and so unhelpful when we want to allow people to be who they really are,” he said. “We just need to make sure that whatever role someone chooses to be in a relationship that we can respect that.”

Regardless of sexual orientation, Spears also said there is a misconception that people who move from partner to partner are incapable of compassion.

“People show their love and showcase who they are in very different ways,” he said. “My job is to teach students that there’s multiplicity in relationships, that relationships don’t all look the same.”

George also sees a stigma for people who do not necessarily settle down.

“It’s reasonable to think that someone might not be tied down to one person and be in a committed relationship,” he said.

As someone who has only dated one person, George said he sometimes senses social pressure to date around as well.

“It’s kind of like, ‘Well, you haven’t tried out other options, you don’t know what other people are like, you don’t know what you’re missing,’” George said.

It is important for couples to be honest with each other when they approach relationships, Oehlhof said. Things to consider are whether to pursue a committed or an open relationship, and to be honest when problems arise.

“It breeds resentment in a lot of cases if someone’s not getting what they want sexually, but they never share it with their partner,” she said. “Partners aren’t psychic, so communication is definitely a huge responsibility.”

Being honest in a romantic relationship can prevent a lot of stress later on, George said.

“Being up front about your feelings toward the relationship … can cause stress on the relationship, but ultimately that stress is going to cause it to grow,” he said.

It is possible to alienate someone with honest communication, but it may be a good thing in the long run, Oehlhof said.

“It might mean that you can get into a relationship with somebody you are more compatible with,” she said.

There is some research that indicates men and women communicate differently, Oehlhof said.

“It presents its own challenges, where men are often listening for the take-home message [and] women are listening for details,” she said. “Communication is a big aspect of relationships that a lot of people fail on, and it’s practice makes perfect. Or at least practice makes better.”

Leave a Comment
Donate to BG Falcon Media
$825
$1500
Contributed
Our Goal

Your donation will support the student journalists of Bowling Green State University. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to BG Falcon Media
$825
$1500
Contributed
Our Goal

Comments (0)

All BG Falcon Media Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *