Some people need to get a grip on reality.

There are times when words are simply just words, and people need to realize that nothing bad is meant by them. The problem arises when people become intolerant and ignorant of history and tradition, and use imagined injustices in order to feel good about themselves.

I am, of course, talking about the attempts in malls in Sydney, Australia to ban their Santas from saying “Ho-ho-ho” because it is degrading to women since the word “ho” is slang for a prostitute. And because we all know St. Nick is a misogynist, abusive SOB.

Before we delve into this insanity, I just want to say: Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.

Now that I have gotten that out of my system, let’s look at the origins of the phrase now coming under fire. According to the Modern Language Association, the phrase came into usage around 1150 A.D.

With this in mind, I doubt they were calling prostitutes “ho’s” back in the Middle Ages. Maybe I am wrong and King Arthur talked to Guinevere like that, but I seriously doubt it.

Maybe the real concern is when Santa says “ho-ho-ho” he is degrading the female reindeer he works with. I bet Dancer, Blitzen, Cupid and Vixen all feel degraded when Santa compares them to the promiscuous reindeer at the stables. Can someone say hostile work environment?

Because of this verbal abuse, the female reindeer become depressed and develop an eating disorder. They are then ostracized by the others and aren’t allowed to join in any reindeer games. Not a good thing.

One of the most influential writers in history, William Shakespeare, has written the phrase into one of his plays. Obviously, he did it to disparage and degrade women.

I mean, if you read the line Puck utters in Act 3, Scene 2 of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” he does say: “Ho, ho, ho, ho! Coward, why com’st thou not?”

So either our friend Billy had no respect for women, or he was using language in common use during his times. Well, it is better to be safe rather than sorry: We should just ban people from saying that line so women in the audience don’t get offended. Someone should go to Jerome Library with a Sharpie and help stop this injustice!

But some will think this phrase is OK in this instance since it is part of a historical context. If this is the case, why is the original phrase not protected even when it is hundreds of years old?

Since this does go so far back in time, I believe that using the phrase “Ho-ho-ho” is part of an international conspiracy to hurt women. Thinking it is just a word is ignorant since I, as a non-member of the women group, have no idea the pain and association that word creates.

I should write a book called the “Ho Code” and point out the groups that have helped keep this phrase of hate alive through out history: Knights Templar, Freemasons, Catholic Church, CIA, Illuminati, and COBRA.

I can’t forget to add Sept. 11 and Halliburton since its conspiratorially chic to implicate these two into anything.

Even though I found “Ho-ho-ho” in Shakespeare, thankfully I did not find the phrase in the Bible, Torah or Quran.

Otherwise, we would have some big problems with God right now.

I really want to know why this came into the crosshairs of the PC crowd. Either they have solved all the problems out there in the world, or they can’t take on real issues and want to feel like they are making a difference by ruining holiday traditions.