One conservative group is getting their jollies off Bush’s re-election by “thanking” Democrats’ most famous supporters — Hollywood actors — as if they had something to do with the downfall of John Kerry.
Citizens United paid for billboards to be placed outside the Kodak Theater, the locale of Sunday’s Academy Awards, with a picture of President Bush and the words “4 More Years. Thank You Hollywood!”
Never heard of Citizens United, huh?
They aren’t exactly a household name like MoveOn or Swift Boat Vets were. Turns out they pride themselves on making a documentary critiquing Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11,” entitled “Celsius 41.11.”
Never heard of that either, huh?
The documentary bombed, as movie critic Duane Dudek called it “about as emotional as a PowerPoint presentation.” On RottenTomatoes.com, only two of 17 (12 percent) of movie critics gave it a good rating. Those dirty rotten scoundrels!
Nevertheless, CU is thanking “Hollywood liberals for inadvertently helping the president win another election.” Pictured on the billboard are Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Affleck, Martin Sheen, Sean Penn, Barbra Streisand and Chevy Chase.
Wait … Chevy Chase? Did Clark Griswold sabotage Kerry’s campaign? Were his irreparable actions at Wally World directly related to Ohio voting for Bush?
And how is Moore part of Hollywood? He’s an independent filmmaker, not a big budget director. If he was part of Hollywood, “Fahrenheit 9/11” would have gotten an Oscar nomination for Best Picture.
It’s no secret celebrities were politically active last year. The “Rock for Change” music tour — featuring Bruce Springsteen, John Mellencamp and Dave Matthews, among others — reached out to apathetic Heartland citizens persuading them to vote (against Bush). The Kerry College Bus Tour came to BG the weekend before the election, featuring John Kerry’s stepson Chris Heinz and mid-tier actors such as Jake Gyllenhaal and Scott Wolf.
But these famous people were too busy spanning the nation to realize they had no political credibility. Did you vote for Kerry because The Boss did too? If you were undecided four days before the election, did the guy from “Bubble Boy” change your mind?
Hollywood doesn’t have much power in politics and it’s amazing they care. Whether there’s a war in Iraq or government-issued health care won’t change if celebrities feed bottled water to their pets. The movie industry is full of fake people with fake body parts playing fictional characters.
November’s outcome wouldn’t have changed if all those actors went mute during the election. Kerry, who had a wooden personality to begin with, wouldn’t have had any flair whatsoever. Hollywood didn’t cause Bush to win, but they didn’t cause him to lose either. They were a non-factor.
Hopefully actors learned their lesson: politics is for politicians and movies are for movie stars … and rappers, singers, models and talking kangaroos.
Three years ago Washington flipped Hollywood’s political soapbox when Sen. John McCain hosted Saturday Night Live. In one sketch, “McCain Sings Streisand,” he took the outspoken diva down a peg.
“I’ve been in politics for over 20 years, and for over 20 years I’ve had Barbra Streisand trying to do my job. So I’ve decided to try my hand at her job,” McCain said in the sketch.
As he poorly sang some of Streisand’s tunes, McCain laid into Barbra some more: “Do I know how to sing? About as well as she knows how to govern America!”
Today legitimate Republicans like McCain would say celebrities had no grounds for their political arguments. Hence, Citizens United’s billboard is just a sign of poor sportsmanship. Had Kerry won, conservative groups would have blamed the same crowd for electing Kerry. “Thanking” Hollywood for Bush’s win is just a case of rubbing it in the actors’ faces.
If Tinseltown blew anything, it was not nominating Jim Carrey for Best Actor in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” That’s the extent of Hollywood screwups — if you don’t count Tara Reid.
The world will continue to spin. Bush will be president, Moore will be rich, Affleck will make overhyped films and Sheen will pretend to be president on “The West Wing.”
And America will say, “Citizens United? Never heard of ’em.”
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