Tim Couch

“I was supposed to be the best quarterback to come from the SEC in 20 years. If I could go back in time I could be better than Peyton Manning. I would like to thank former Cleveland coach Chris Palmer for starting me my rookie season behind an offensive line worse than the one I had at Kentucky. I am better than Peyton Manning – in Madden 2006.”

Couch has had seven injuries since being drafted first overall in 1999 by the Browns. Couch is now out of the league after being cut in the 2004 offseason by the Green Bay packers. My ruling on Tim Couch: Major bust.

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Courtney Brown

“I still look like Tarzan and play like Jane, but I have found a new home in Denver, where I don’t have to do anything but stand around and watch John Lynch and Ian Gold make all the plays. I had more injuries than sacks during my stay in Cleveland, and my best friend was the team’s head trainer.”

Brown, the No. 1 overall pick in 2000, has suffered 13 injuries and missed almost two full seasons since joining the league. Brown is making an impact in Denver this year, but the supporting cast has a lot to do with that. My ruling: Bust.

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Gerard Warren

“I was drafted by Butch Davis who was such a good talent evaluator, I mean isn’t he still in the NFL? My career in Cleveland was dissimilar from my rap song, ‘Do it Big.'”

“Big Money” has had three injuries since entering the league in 2001. Injuries aren’t his problem but rather a lack of talent. Davis’ first draft pick at No. 3 overall could be the Browns’ biggest bust of the new era. Warren is in the rotation for the Denver Broncos. My ruling: Major bust.

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William Green

“My nickname in Cleveland says it all, ‘Willie Weed.’ Maybe if I didn’t get pulled over for drunken driving and stab by my wife, I would still be a factor in this league.”

Green, still on the Browns’ roster, has been injured three times and was suspended for substance abuse. He had talent out of Boston College but never made the jump to the next level. Green is currently sidelined with an – you guessed it – injury. My ruling: Bust.

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Jeff Faine

“I am the only Cleveland Browns first-round draft pick currently starting for the team. I could be the scariest person alive, but I can’t hack it in the NFL like I did at Notre Dame. I really can’t block, and I continually get knocked around by defensive linemen, and yet I’m supposed to anchor the offensive line.”

Faine has had two injuries and was put on injured reserve last December. Faine was picked in the mid-late first round, but still has not lived up to his full potential. My ruling: On the verge of bust.

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Kellen Winslow Jr.

“Well, I have bad luck. Maybe it’s because I went to Miami. In my rookie season I tore ligaments in my leg and was sidelined for the year. Then I, Kellen Kenieval, wanted to join the X-Games and lost control of my motorcycle and tore my ACL.”

Winslow has been injured twice since joining the Browns in 2004. On an onside kick opportunity during his rookie season, Winslow tore ligaments in his leg. Over the summer, Kellen was in a motorcycle accident and missed this entire season. Winslow, who has played in just one full game as a Brown, is getting ready for the Browns’ mini-camp in June. My ruling: The jury is still out.

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Braylon Edwards

“I was on my way to being Rookie of the Year, but I tried to make another great play for the Browns and landed awkwardly on my knee and tore my ACL on Sunday.”

I guess it’s just the Cleveland Curse. Edwards is going to be a stud. He has proven himself already this season with 512 yards and three touchdowns. If Charlie Frye was the starting quarterback all year, Edwards could have done better. It’s unfortunate he had to get hurt after scoring twice last week in the first half. My ruling: Stud.

This is just another reason why Cleveland is the most tortured sports city in the world. The Cleveland Browns’ draft picks have either not performed up to expectations, have had numerous injuries or made bad life decisions. The Browns are 4-8 this year because of the lack of talent on the team, which is attributed mainly to bad drafting.

‘#160;

Warning to all 2006 draft picks:

If you come to Cleveland, something freakish will happen to you (motorcycle accident, stabbed by wife, fluke injuries). I hope the Browns do take my favorite Ohio State players like A.J. Hawk and Bobby Carpenter, but I will advise them on the “Curse of Art Modell.” If we take a Toledo Rocket, I’ll let them figure it out on their own.

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