They say if women ruled the world, we would never have any wars. I say we would have a war every 28 days. The best way to blind a woman is to put a windshield in front of her face. If a woman is out of the kitchen, you didn’t make the chain short enough. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. To sum it up, a woman isn’t doing her job if she isn’t slaving over a hot stove during her second trimester.

Ok, maybe I went a little overboard with women stereotypes, but come on, I’m sure you at least cracked a smile at one of the above jokes. You read this because you have a good sense of humor. If not, then you’re probably lacing a brick with estrogen and preparing to throw it through my window.

Before you do that, you should know a couple things. First of all, they’re just jokes, so don’t get riled up. Second, you do the same thing to us, so don’t be hypocritical. Third, I live on the fifth floor, so unless you’re a world champion discus thrower, I wouldn’t bother with the brick throwing.

One of my favorite qualities in the girls I call my friends is their sense of humor. They know me, so they know I’m only kidding when I scold them for openly discussing their menstrual cycle. The rest of you women probably concur that there are several quirks that are grounds for jokes.

For instance, how come you always have an excuse to go shopping and when you go shopping, you buy clothes simply because they are on sale? Why is it just clothes? How come you never impulsively purchase Gamecube accessories? Why do you eat excessive amounts of chocolate whenever something goes wrong? Finally, how subtle are you when, in the middle of a double date, you and your friend giggle all the way to the bathroom?

I have drawn first blood. Go ahead women, let’s hear you roar. You say that men are like lava lamps: not too bright, but fun to look at? We’re like parking spaces: all the good ones are taken or handicapped. We stay out late with the guys and drink to the brink of alcohol poisoning. We have our priorities straight. Any English paper can be put off to make room for two hours of Grand Theft Auto. Our rooms are messy, we can’t last a weekend without sports, we never stop thinking about sex and we all think we can fix that broken appliance.

Is that your argument? Well, you sure know us pretty well. You even got in a few good jokes! You have accurately described the average male college student. However, you didn’t describe me, personally. Am I offended? Not in the least. After all, they’re simply jokes. Getting angry over something as trivial as a good laugh sounds like something a feminist would do.

Don’t feminists pine for equal rights? They aren’t alone. I believe women and men should have equal opportunity to be hired for the same job and the same pay. I think Title IX is helpful to some extent and gives women some chance to play sports, after all there really are some amazing female athletes out there. I’m not justifying discrimination based on gender. I’m talking about jokes. I live for humor, and stereotypes of women (and men) are downright hilarious to me. Taking jokes like these personally sucks the fun out of the whole ordeal, whether you are a man or a woman.

However, I can’t think of one man who is offended by the male stereotype. I can think of many women who take it personally. Why is that? Is it because the jokes towards women tend to get more off-color? Is it because women are generalized and degraded on networks such as MTV? It could be, but it happens to men as well. Have you ever seen these movies on Lifetime? They pretty much portray all men as jealous, abusive husbands. They tend to show these movies whenever they run out of “Golden Girls” reruns.

So remember, if you are discriminated against or ostracized because you are a woman, then you have grounds for a complaint. If you get caught in the middle of a”sexist joke,” then try to laugh and fire one back at the men. We’re ready for it. Please, don’t throw bricks.