Look out! Krispy Kreme’s stock has fallen over 45 percent this year — no, not their stock of donuts (breathe easy, policeman of the world), but the price of their shares.Wall Street analysts have come up with various reasons for this sudden drop, ranging from the current low-carb fad to the increased migration rates of Canadian geese, and even to the reappearance of El Niño, who could not be reached for comment.In response to the reduced profits, what did Krispy Kreme executives do? Exactly what any other company would do — introduce a new line of “healthy” low-carb alternatives to their menu and advertise like crazy. Only, they didn’t do that at all.Instead, they decided that selling frozen drinks that were LESS healthy than their donuts would bring back customers. There are several flavors to choose from, but the best has to be the “Krispy Kreme” flavor, which is basically their famous donut mashed up and stuffed into a cup.Yes, you read that right. If you’ve ever had the urge to drink frozen donut icing in large quantities (and who hasn’t?), then today is your lucky day. In fact, if you’re like me and are too lazy to chew most of your food, today is the best day of your life. Those horrible days of eating nothing but applesauce and Jell-O are long gone, baby!That is, if you don’t mind feeling bloated for the next week. The 20-ounce drink has enough carbs to make Atkins lovers contemplate suicide, in addition to a ridiculous 730 calories. This may sound like a bad thing until you realize that after just two or three of these suckers, you’ve already reached the Daily Recommended Calorie Intake.Do you know what this means? That’s right — no need to eat for the rest of the day! Why waste time eating “real food” when you can just have liquid Krispy Kremes? It’s like Slim-Fast, only without the “healthy for you” part, and, um, I guess it’s not like Slim-Fast at all. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy the great taste of LiquidKreme; just don’t think about the 46,283,976 sit-ups you’ll have to do in order to work off 20 ounces of pure nirvana, and you should be fine.Now, a clever reader like you is probably thinking, “What exactly is Krispy Kreme’s business plan here?” The short answer: they don’t have one. This is how their conversation might have gone:KRISPY KREME EXECUTIVE #1: We have no plan.KRISPY KREME EXECUTIVE #2: Right; but we do have a lot of money.KRISPY KREME EXECUTIVE #1: HAHAHAHA (chokes on money-filled donut)There you have it, right in front of you: they have no plan. If I had to guess, I would say that most of the new customers gained with these new frozen drinks will die of massive heart attacks within 24 hours, so the “plan” will backfire. There are always new ideas, though, and you really never know what to expect from these Krispy Kreme people. Here is a copy of an actual conversation from the NEAR FUTURE:KRISPY KREME EXEC #1: What if we took a syringe, and filled it with donut glaze, and then had people inject it straight into their bloodstream?KRISPY KREME EXEC #2: Brilliant! HAHAHAHA (chokes on money-filled donut)Since we are not actually in the future yet, we will have to wait and see what else is in store — because it definitely won’t be healthy. Rest assured that I will be there on the front lines, doing all the necessary “research” to keep you informed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some sit-ups to do.Jim ate dozens of Krispy Kremes in an exhaustive research effort for this column. Let him know what you think at [email protected].