Couch potato rant: Horror needs originality

Okay, so you’re wondering around looking for your significant other in one of the biggest storms of the year. There’s a dark, mysterious house straight ahead and you think that your baby cakes could quite possibly be hiding in there as some sort of joke. You enter the rundown house and begin to investigate because your sugar bun always loves to play hide-inseek. Making your way up the stairs you hear heavy breathing coming from one of the rooms and you think, “Hey there’s my snuggle bunny!”

You enter the room and realize the heavy breathing is coming from the one closet in the room. You walk up to the closet, put your hand on the doorknob and open it. Is it: a) your lover, b) a homicidal maniac, or c) Brokeback He-Man.

If you answered B, you know the typical horror movie formula.

In this day-in-age, it’s difficult to find new and original horror flicks. With remakes galore, these big-budget studios are making these movies very distasteful, ushering in more gore and less storyline. Let’s take a look at some of the revamped horror flicks.

We’ll begin with the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” the remake of the 1974′ Tobe Hooper classic. This is one of the better remakes in recent years that changed the story a bit and actually kept the gore to its original form. Hooper should be very pleased with this great remake.

“The Amityville Horror,” was actually better than the original in my opinion, including more details that derived from the original book and included better acting.

But now, let’s talk about some of the more ridiculous movies in the horror genre.

“The Hills Have Eyes,” was one of the more grotesque films I’ve ever seen and could have been so much better than it was. Although the original Wes Craven film wasn’t one of his best with the great idea of deformed, almost mutant, humans reeking havoc after the effects of a nuclear testing site, this movie had all the potential of a great film.

But unfortunately, it failed to deliver the goods.

Except for “The Ring” and the “Saw” movie series, any other horror movie that has come out in recent years has been worthless. It’s a simple formula that has been ridiculously overdone to the point where you can predict the whole movie. Nothing is shocking, except for the gore, and the characters appear dumber with every sequel that comes out.

However, horror fans do have a few films coming out in the next couple years that they can look forward to ” Hopefully.

“Alice” a supposed dark and twisted film about Alice’s trip back to Wonderland, stars Sarah Michelle Gellar and Marilyn Manson. This movie is based off of the 2000 video game with the same title and has gained quite a following even before its release.

Additionally, 1974’s “Black Christmas,” one of my all-time favorite horror flicks, will be getting a make-over with a cast full of lovely ladies. The original, although highly unknown, has influenced the horror genre being both a slasher film and a psychological thriller. This movie has a lot of expectations, so hopefully the studio doesn’t mess this one up.

With the horror genre being on the edge of losing their fan base, it’s time these studios and directors step-up and come out with an original idea that is sure to scare audiences. If not, the consumers must be prepared for more sequels and more of the same old scares that we’ve come to know.

Until then, you’ll just have to enjoy some of the older timely classics such as the “Nightmare on Elm Street” series as well as the first couple “Halloween” movies.