Wikify’ your education

Creating articles for The BG News is no easy task. The process involves long interviews, countless fact checks and copy edits, not even mentioning the many hours of research on top of it all.

Fortunately for me, I also get to write Not News, which not only involves none of the above, but also requires an absence of common sense or logic.

Coincidentally, this makes me a great “Not Reporter.”

Despite my talents, I could never do it on my own. I couldn’t tell you off of the top of my head who William of Ockham is, nor could I possibly know the odds of the Earth being swallowed by a black hole.

Luckily, there is a place where this information – and so much more – can be found. This place is the wind beneath my mouse; my home page away from home. This place is Wikipedia.

Back in January 2001, Wikipedia made its debut as the first free, online encyclopedia of its kind. Published by volunteers and edited by anyone with access to the site, Wikipedia has quickly become a common tool in online content research.

How did I get all of that information? Simple, I researched it on Wikipedia.

Need to know how many licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Wikipedia has you covered. Want to learn the classifications of sausage? Wikipedia knows them. Wondering about the history of sliced bread? Look no further.

For a fake news writer like myself, nothing could be more useful than a fake encyclopedia. If I need less-than-credible information on anything under the sun, I know where to turn. The site is loaded with nearly 5 million articles, including topics ranging from public holidays in South Africa to the career of Tony Danza.

Without Wikipedia, I can only imagine where I’d be today. Well, probably out looking for legitimate sources, but who has the time to do that anymore?

In addition to its usefulness in the world of fake news and sausage classification, Wikipedia is also a great way for the average American to spend hours reading about senseless, yet interesting information that will likely never be applied.

For example, last weekend I spent nearly an hour reading about the life of Bob Barker. Was this necessary? Probably not. But do I know more about Bob Barker than you do? Yes, and that makes me feel good about myself.

So let’s hear it for Wikipedia – everything anyone could ever want to know about nothing anyone will ever need to know.

Still, it remains my fake source of choice. Not to mention, it has helped me write yet another Not News article.

That’s enough writing for now though, I need to get back to my reading on whether or not the Pepsi Challenge was rigged.