Decisions, decisons

“I don’t know.”

The other three little words a girl may introduce that can completely trash what was otherwise a fun and simple night out.

It’s one of those phrases where the words themselves have lost all meaning. Like when someone says “what’s up?” They aren’t really asking a question. They couldn’t care less what you’re thinking or planning.

The same is true when a girl says, “I don’t know.”

You could have no idea what to do, or you could have made plans, bought tickets and phoned ahead to make a reservation. It doesn’t matter. The only reservations that matter to her at that moment are hers.

“I don’t know” doesn’t mean she doesn’t have anything in mind. It means she doesn’t know about your decision-making skills. Whether that means she’s concerned about the plans you’ve made or questioning your ability to even make a plan depends on you.

This is because guys, too, are seldom clear and resolute. If we were, “I don’t know” wouldn’t matter, because we would respond with a definite alternative. “Well, I do know, and we’re following my lead now, and later I’m going to build a sailboat using only a hammer and masculinity.”

But that isn’t how we react. “I don’t know” is frustrating because guys aren’t willing to make a decision either.

I’m not saying take charge of every date. Renting Aliens again, no matter how awesome James Cameron’s masterpiece is, will not always be the right choice.

Alright, it is always the right choice, but some people can’t appreciate that.

Regardless of it being a nonstop thrill ride, girls will mostly want to go out at night.


This means compromise.

Not the horrible “I don’t know” echo chamber sort of negotiating, but a balance of power. Split control of the dates. Sometimes you’ll watch good films, and other nights you’ll watch “The Notebook.” This has to happen. Sometimes relationships mean sacrifice.

But, what if swapping control doesn’t work? What if you can’t decide who should take what night? What if you like “The Notebook?”

I don’t know.