Dear Captain RibMan,

I want to be a camp counselor again this summer but my mom wants me to get a real job. I’m a sophomore and I don’t think a real job is necessary yet. How do I convince her that being a counselor is a much more viable option?

Ann

Vanderbilt

Dear Ann,

You’ve had 18+ years to train your mother to accept whatever you say. Sounds to me like you’ve wasted valuable time living at home and now you’re paying the price. Didn’t you get anything out of adolescence?

Look, if you can’t tell your mother straight out that going to college marked the end of her influence over you, then explain your degree requires 100 hours of community work- which just happens to include counseling at summer camps. Thus, you’d like to take her advice, but Vanderbilt University prevents that option.

Good luck!

Dear Captain RibMan,

My boyfriend’s a dick, but i love him. What should i do?

Christie Scott

Dear Christie,

Marry him soon or you’ll go nuts trying to resolve your conflicted feelings.

Good luck!

Captain RibMan