For a film based on a line of toys, ‘Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen’ is surprisingly more enjoyable when the robots are off screen.

The movie begins with Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) going off to college, as his parents do awkward and embarassing things like talk dirty and accidentally consume drugs. This is the most entertaining part of the movie, and with the absence of any robots in it, it begs the question of whether or not the parents are going to have action figures.

Eventually, Optimus Prime and the rest of the mechanical aliens show up and the dialogue devolves to yelling names, telling people to run and giant robots saying ‘Damn, I’m good.’ It’s almost difficult to criticize the movie once it crosses this point, because you’re mesmerized by explosions.

It’s old hat to criticize Director Michael Bay for explosions, but in the face of exploding pyramids and other structures with no discernable reason for blowing up, it may be worth mentioning.

It seems the only thing that all the Transformers share is an idiotic caricature. Optimus is the worst example of this, though it may be reaching to ask that robot aliens not be one-dimensional.

The twin robots that were advertising Chevy’s latest ‘hip’ cars have been accused of being racist caricatures, but they instantly reminded me more of the kids who stalk outside of Hot Topic in tall tees, instead of black-robot-face.

Jetfire (voiced by Mark Ryan) is the lone exception to the poor characterization. Though he’s still a caricature, this time of the elderly, he still manages to inject some humor into his scenes.

Likewise, the acting is only tolerable when the film is attempting humor, which is sparse but sometimes successful. LaBeouf is quick-witted, John Turturro (as Agent Simmons) is absurd (in a good way) and Kevin Dunn and Julie White as Sam’s parents are goofy. Only Turturro retains his humor in the action sequences. LaBeouf becomes bogged down with interactions with Megan Fox (as Mikaela Banes), who is at her best when silent and splayed across a motorcycle, or emulating some other pinup pose. Don’t construe that as sexist; her lines are that bad.

The action sequences, which should be the selling point of a film like this, are a mess of scrap metal. When the Transformers start rotating and tearing, it becomes impossible to track where one ends and the next one begins. That’s before even

considering one-liners worse than anything Will Smith uttered in ‘Independence Day.’

For example, Optimus says, ‘Give me your face,’ before tearing off a robot’s face. The only conclusion I can reach is that the writers for this film are insane and believe that saying something before doing it makes it a pun.

This is a bad film. Not so bad it’s good – just bad. It gets a few things right, but an action movie with poor action has no chance. It can try to fall back on the humor of a few clever actors and some amazing imagery in the form of robots and the filming locations, but ultimately this movie has as much life as the toys it’s hawking.

Grade: C-