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Death to poser emo

Good riddance to an utterly lame and disgusting “counter-culture.”

Take your tight pants, superfluous makeup, lack of self-esteem and stereotypical MySpace profile pictures (you know, the ones taken from “hat angle) and leave everyone alone. See you in the underworld, mainstream emo.

Not to be confused with punk rock, goth, metal or even actual emo (which never garnered itself story coverage by FOX News), I can say with great confidence that poser emo has finally bitten the dust.

Gone are the days when the masses of MySpace scene kids posting profile pictures of their piercing-riddled, eyeliner-plastered, ultra-dyed emo swoop-haired selves onto their social networking pages in vain attempts to outdo each other.

I can count the occasions I have seen actual emo kids here in BG on one hand. It was twice, actually.

Furthermore, this modern emo resurgence no longer pokes its head out into the mainstream media as much, limiting the public’s knowledge of ongoing events within this dying ripoff of a formerly legitimate and meaningful subculture.

Due to its limited appeal to teenagers and scenesters of late (given the fact the mainstream emo scene peaked in popularity in mid-2006), mainstream emo has been slowly fading into musical obscurity for roughly the past two years.

I can only hope that this decline in the international appeal and popularity of poser emo will result in actual emo – the truly meaningful and emotionally-charged post-punk stuff from the early ’90s – making a return as the standard form of emo.

But it would seem that civilizations outside the U.S. are not so forgiving toward the remnant hordes of poser emo kids. In fact, these scene kids are actually in serious danger in certain areas.

In an infamous move of questionable motive and purpose, the government of the Russian Federation presented (and passed) regulatory law at the Duma to monitor and regulate emo Web sites and to ban emo fashion and music at schools and federal buildings. Apparently, over in Russia emo is feared as a dangerous teen trend which apparently promotes and engenders anti-social behavior and withdrawal, depression and suicide.

Wow. And all this time I thought it was all just a bunch of whiny suck-rock.

But in Mexico, the citizenship is taking matters into its own taped-up hands, fighting the (good?) fight against the emo kids on the city streets.

In summer 2008, I read an article in Spin magazine which reported on the anti-emo riots which have recently engulfed areas in Mexico City, Quer’eacute;taro and Tijuana.

According to the story, anti-emo groups, including punkers, metalheads and even rockabilly fans, have engaged in mob attacks on emo kids, apparently assaulting said scenesters on sight. When asked why they chose to beat up emo kids, the punks and metal fans generally agreed emo has stolen the sound from their respective musical genres of choice, and these emo kids must be taught a lesson.

Apparently, underground Mexican music fans see mob beatings as a form of punishment. I’m sure glad I don’t listen to poser emo music.

These international events regarding the declining popularity of mainstream emo (and the apparent rise of government action against it) correlate with the current blend of pop/rock/indie/pop-punk has beginning to eclipse the dying mainstream emo scene. Although little tinges of emo music find their ways into the current wave of typical pop music, such occurrences are subtle and not explicitly emo.

It seems the only way for mainstream emo to survive is to cling to the pop music it formerly was.

Although, I don’t like people being beaten by ruthless mobs or being watched by the government, regardless of what kinds of music they enjoy, I can derive enjoyment from the fact that poser emo dies a little more with each day that passes.

Hopefully, the eventual death of mainstream emo will make more people appreciate emo’s roots – you know, good music.

Go listen to some Fugazi or Jawbox, already. Or Rites of Spring, even. That’s some real emo music. And you won’t be beaten up by roving mobs of Mexican punkers and metalheads for listening to it!

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