I had been planning to write a column for Coming Out Week for a while, but never thought it would be the hardest column I’ve ever written. Because I’m gay, and this is a serious issue for me, the right words just would not come to mind.
But the recent comments from republican New York governor candidate Carl Paladino gave me something to say.
About the homosexual lifestyle, he said, “that’s not how God created us, and that’s not the example that we should be showing our children.”
He also said, “I don’t want [children] to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid and successful option.”
Paladino’s comments are just another occurrence dealing with this issue. The gay community has been on the minds of many.
There have been a number of tragic suicides by gay teenagers both in and out of the closet within the last month. And even though these suicides were flooded with sympathetic condolences, the divided nation, at the same time, still decided to not repeal the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy when given the chance.
It seems like plenty of people, including heterosexuals, are starting to realize gays should not be treated like second-class citizens and they are worthy to fight for. And even though the country has a long way to go to achieve total equality, the debates taking place show progress on giving gay citizens the equal rights they were born into.
But being someone who is openly gay, I can’t help but feel discouraged when a group of straights argue back and forth about my lifestyle, which is why I decided to write this: To make my voice better heard. I constantly sit back while officials or celebrities endorse equality just to boost their public image. Being gay isn’t a joke, and shouldn’t be just a topic tossed around as freely as it is.
I’ve known I was gay since I became a teenager, it just stayed a secret for the first 20 years of my life. I went through it all: I was ashamed, I was in denial and I was confused.
Of course, I only speak for me, not the entire gay community, and definitely not for the BG News. I just speak as someone who lives in America, but is not allowed to marry, join the military or donate blood.
I’m not angry either. I’m an optimist for a future full of equality. But what I find to be the biggest nuisance is when people speak out of ignorance.
Understanding what being gay entails should be the first step one takes before forming an opinion on the lifestyle.
Looking back now, of course I wish I would’ve come out sooner, and that is a testament to how incredibly accepting my family and friends were. I remember being filled with glee when everyone finally knew.
Of course no one was surprised. You can’t ask your parents for Britney’s “… Baby One More Time” album for your tenth birthday and expect people not to raise their eyebrows.
But I realize I am one of the fortunate ones. There are gays who have it a lot worse than me. It breaks my heart when I hear of people who have been killed or ended their own lives because of homosexuality. According to an article published by the Huffington Post by John Shore, there are more than 34,000 suicides a year in the United States, 30 percent of them being teenagers who are gay, lesbian or transgendered.
For those still fighting the battle in the closet, I’ve learned that being out is such a better life to live. It’s hard now, for sure, but taking that brave, giant leap could result in a lifetime of happiness. The one cliché saying I kept telling myself still holds true: “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
Being gay has given me thick skin. I’m a lot more confident now than when I would skip my high school Spanish class because the soccer players in the back would refer to me as a derogatory term.
A quick confessional text message sent to friends was all it took, saying it was probably not a shock and I hope it didn’t change anything. Of course it didn’t. It may have been awkward for them to receive, but there’s no way they felt any more awkward than I did for the first 20 years of my life.
In response to Paladino, I must say I have tried both living in the closet, as well as telling people I am gay. And it’s the honest truth that I have never been happier than I am right now.
If teaching children to lie to every single person they’ve ever loved rather than being honest about who they are is more the route you think the country should be on, you deserve no position of power. Instead, let’s encourage the children of today to express themselves however they wish, that way, when they’re older, they’ll be more open minded to equality than today’s adults.