Sometimes, a little snark and a little sass can go a long way, especially if you’re in a situation where a snarky comment can get your point across. It’s even more effective when it’s used in the right situation.
I like to consider myself the queen of all things snark and sass. I like to think I’ve gained these talents in all my years of putting up with people’s idiosyncrasies, the fact that I was very much a drama queen when I was younger and because I constantly have an inner monologue running through my head à la certain scenes from “Glee” (after all, I did consider myself Rachel Berry in high school).
But I realize there are those who aren’t blessed, or cursed, with the same amount of snark and sass I have. So, I’m going to relay all the tricks I’ve learned over the years to try and help out those who just want a little more snarkiness in their lives.
First off, one of the best ways to let your snarkiness and sassiness out is to try and emulate the way some people talk. For me, watching episodes of Chelsea Handler’s old E! show “Chelsea Lately” in the summer between sophomore and junior year of high school was like my apprenticeship in learning the language of sass. Handler always had a snappy one-liner that seemed like she would spit out on a moment’s notice. At the time, I was a mousy 16-year-old who could barely think of a good comeback when I was fighting with my younger brother. After watching Handler’s shows for the summer, I went to school almost feeling like a new person with my newfound quicker-than-normal thinking skills.
The next big thing, once you have a stockpile of a few witty comebacks, is to work on your signature look. For me, whenever words fail me, I give someone an eyebrow raise and give them some major side eye which is then followed by a slightly over-exaggerated eye roll. To find your signature look, I recommend turning to the closest television set and study the way many of the leading and supporting ladies react when someone says something stupid in their presence. Once you think you found a facial expression, or a series of facial expressions, sit down in front of a mirror and practice them. But try not to laugh. You don’t want to be giving someone your signature sassy look and burst into laughter. It kind of ruins the whole moment.
And, while this may seem minor, finding your go-to sass song is almost as important as snappy comebacks and signature looks. This one is a lot easier, though. For me, the easiest way to find your sass song is to scroll through every playlist you have on your phone or streaming service and find the song that fits you the most. It may be Taylor Swift, it may be Beyoncé or, like me, it might be Alanis Morrissette. Find your sass song and you’ll be golden.
But just like everything else, there is a time and a place for snark. The hardest part of being the sassy one is knowing when the sass needs to be turned down or turned off. That’s something I can’t tell you specifically because it’s going to change depending on the situation. To me, the only way you can be the true sass queen of your friend group is when you know how to turn it on and turn it off.
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