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Women’s hockey is a fascinating thing

Women’s sports. This oxymoron has boggled the mind for quite some time. Why do we enjoy watching them? Male athletes can run faster, jump higher, push harder, and actually dunk in basketball. Women’s sports have, well, women. Don’t all heterosexual men like women? Then how come we don’t like women’s sports over men’s sports? I believe the answer is that men’s sports have more spectacular action, and that’s just the way it’s been. I have no problem with women playing sports, but in most cases, the male version is simply more exciting. There are exceptions, like in anything. I would venture that women’s soccer and tennis will dazzle audiences over its testosterone-filled counterpart. Baking and doing laundry would count if they were sports (OK, cheap shot). Is this it for women’s sports? Are we to merely admire Mia Hamm and the Williams sisters? I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion so quickly, my friends. There is one sport that should quickly garner popularity. I’m talking about women’s hockey.

It makes perfect sense. On one hand, you have the sport of ice hockey, which embodies fights as part of the game. Many NHL teams have “enforcers,” like Tie Domi of the Toronto Maple Leafs. All he does is protect his players and take out the anger of the team through himself. That way, he serves the penalty minutes, instead of the disgruntled superstar. One the other hand, you have women.

Now if you’ve watched enough episodes of “Seinfeld,” you should be familiar with the theory of catfights. If two women are fighting and throwing punches, the primordial fantasy in men’s heads are that eventually, the women will start to tone down the fight and begin a full fledged pillow fight, right there in the middle of the ice rink. Well, that’s not exactly how it works, but you basically have the idea.

The sport of women’s hockey is in the fledgling stage, especially in our University. We flaunt a club team, but club sports must pay for virtually all expenses, namely equipment and arena ice time. I had the privilege of watching them play last Saturday. OK, so my girlfriend, a player on the team, made me watch her play that night, due to that unwritten “mandatory brownie points” rule every relationship has. Unfortunately, our Falcons lost to the Michigan State Lady Spartans 4-0. Our team is young, and inexperienced, and Michigan State loves their hockey.

There is indeed much room for improvement, but I feel it is worth it. For starters, the women’s games are deprived of the Zamboni machine’s usage in between periods. Using the Zamboni takes up ice time, which is more costly to the team.

Actually, that really is my only gripe with the current state of women’s hockey. Once they can afford that, the rest of the chips should fall into place. Once the ice is smoothed out every 15 minutes, the gals should be able to skate faster and shoot the puck harder. Although I’ve never skated, I do know how difficult it is to trudge through a layer of snow while wearing ice skates.

If you are bored out of your gourd tonight, mosey on over to our Ice Arena at 9:45 PM as our Lady Falcons battle The Ohio State Buckeyes. If you’re booked solid for the night, you can catch the second game of the twin-bill against OSU Saturday night at 10:15 PM. The games last no more than an hour and a half. The team could always use more fans, given the fact they don’t have many in the first place.

It took the WNBA six years for a woman to dunk in a game, but the women’s hockey fights have already begun. I witnessed one last week, and it may have lasted for all but five seconds, but it was enough to remember that episode of “Seinfeld.”

All I am asking is give the chicks a chance. After one game, if you don’t like it, then there’s a full slate of NFL games on Sunday. But somewhere deep in the cockles of my heart, I’ll think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. These ladies like it rough.

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