Through the Looking Glass

By Mike Pingree (KRT) PROSTITUTION? NO PROBLEM AT ALL A woman graduated from law school and, on her application to be admitted to the Kentucky bar, mentioned that she had once been arrested for prostitution. Her run-in with the law happened in 1997, when she worked for an “escort service.” But the Character and Fitness Committee ruled that this in no way should prevent her from becoming an attorney. ___ THE SHORELINE SEEMS TO BE MOVING A woman got drunk while celebrating International Women’s Day in St. Petersburg, Russia, and tried to walk across the frozen Neva River. Alas, the ice on which she was walking broke off and started floating, stranding her. So she took a nap until rescuers came and got her. ___ THERE’S SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS HERE An unemployed man robbed a Pennsylvania bank of $81,000 and got away clean. But he was ultimately caught because he and his wife went on a major spending spree, paying cash for a Lincoln Continental and two other cars as well as furniture and appliances. ___ THEY’RE WATCHING, I JUST KNOW IT A man in London firmly believes that the British government is spying on him having secretly installed eavesdropping devices in his home to monitor his sexual encounters with his pregnant girlfriend. He says this has undermined his self-confidence and ruined his career. He is suing. ___ SEE YA’ LATER, SUCKERS, KA-BOOM! A man robbed a bank in Columbus, Ohio, and stuffed the money down the front of his pants, not realizing that the teller had thrown in an explosive red dye pack. Police spotted the man about a block away, walking with a decided limp. ___ NICE KITTY, GOOD KITTY, HSSSSSSS! A man in Torbrook, Nova Scotia, fled into his bathroom when his calico cat went berserk. The animal kept snarling and hissing in a threatening manner. The guy didn’t come out until the Royal Canadian Mounted Police arrived. ___ THIS BELONG TO YOU, BUDDY? A man robbed a gas station in Canonsburg, Pa., and left his cell phone behind. It didn’t take long for the police to catch him. ___ BUT WE HAVE YOUR FINGERPRINTS After having a few drinks, a 41-year-old man in Yokohama, Japan, grabbed the buttocks of a woman who bent over to get a soda out of a vending machine. She called police who rushed in and arrested him. He says he does not remember doing it. ___ OK, THEN, DOWN WITH AGRICULTURE, TOO A man decided to chain himself to a branch office of the U.S. Department of Energy in Olympia, Wash., to protest the U.S.-led war on Iraq. He padlocked one end of a chain to a door handle and the locked the other end around his neck before discovering he was at the wrong building. Workers informed him that he was chained to the Washington State Grange, which promotes the interests of farmers. ___ HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT, PINHEAD A man was sentenced to eight years in jail for aggravated assault in Texas. Then he turned around, pulled down his pants and mooned the judge. Make that eight years and six months. ___ (Mike Pingree is a columnist for the Boston Herald. Read a second “Looking Glass” column on the Internet at ___ ‘copy 2003, Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.