Have you ever dreamed of the perfect mate? Since we aren’t all born and raised the same way, we all probably want something a little different. I might want someone who is gentle and calm, while you may want someone who is loud and outgoing. I want someone who is short and lean while you want someone who is toned and agile. We are all entitled to our preferences, and it’s the differences in people that make us happy.
But even with my little knowledge of love and romance, there is one thing that I’m sure that will spoil even the kinkiest of couples this Valentine’s Day. No matter if you’re black or white, male or female, young or old, I think anyone can honestly say that one of the most fearsome components in a relationship is the concept of “the affair.”
Look at this hypothetical situation: You’ve bought your girlfriend a large teddy bear for Friday’s special holiday. She specifically told you not to get her anything, but you know more than anyone else that she wants the biggest toys on the shelf. You’ve made it to your room, and lo and behold, you find her and your best buddy lying on the floor, making it further around the baseball diamond than you ever had before. Because of human nature, your rage and adrenaline build up so high that you end up killing both of the offenders.
The murderer in that story is most likely going to jail, as he should, but have you ever stopped to think of why unfaithfulness isn’t a crime?
The U.S. government puts a lot of time into its articulation of marital law. Certain ordained individuals are required to attend the ceremonies, the government forbids whom they deem to be “participants of an alternate lifestyle” to tie the knot, and most importantly, the high-profile ceremony not only has a symbolic meaning, but a legal one as well. Not only according to God, but according to the state of Ohio, you are one.
So if the government puts so much emphasis on marriage, then why don’t they care when someone knowingly goes out of there way to break that commitment and defile any type of promise they ever had with their spouse? The law allows you to get a divorce and the judge might yell at him or her for a little while, but what consolation is that?
Since the U.S. government is “busy” with more “important” issues like Iraq and North Korea, it’s likely that there won’t be any enforcement of a potential law to forbid this kind of behavior. Thus, we have to do things on our own to make sure this Feb. 14 won’t stick in our diaries as nostalgia from Hell. For example, we have to stop romanticizing this behavior. I’ve heard men and women alike say that “kissing” someone isn’t being unfaithful. They constantly plea that there are certain things, which are still sexual in nature, that are constituted as cheating. The truth is, however, that if you can’t tell him or her what you’ve done, then it’s probably something you probably didn’t need to do.
Sounds like common sense. But when reality checks us, we realize that cheating is an issue that can be battled with this common sense.
The other resolution is to be brutally honest. “Look, honey, I don’t know how to say this without hurting you, but the truth is that I am no longer attracted to you.” Wouldn’t you scream if you heard this? Is he/she saying that I became uglier? How horrible! But the truth to this is that this is a pain that goes away. I know from experience that by hearing this, you’ll be upset in the short-run, but the pain doesn’t start to compare to learning that you’re so unattractive now that I’ve been sleeping with this other girl for three weeks. You can make attempts to prettify yourself, maybe by dieting or using acne medication. But if he or she still feels the same way, then understand that people have other tastes and wants something different.
The truth is that your chances of being crushed on Valentine’s Day are pretty low. But don’t be one of the jerks that ruins someone’s life by satisfying your sexual desires with someone else. End the relationship or talk things out. You’ll surprise yourself with how much you accomplish.
