How many of us go out clubbin’ every weekend?
I’m guessing most of us go out at least once in a while.
I know I do, and I go to the same place every time: Uptown. In this little town, we have to entertain ourselves or we’d go insane.
The only convenient options for a person that likes to dance instead of drink are Uptown, Sky Bar or Nate ‘ Wally’s —- and Uptown is my preferred place to dance. Nate ‘ Wally’s doesn’t have much of a dance floor and it has bands instead of a D.J. playing the songs I like. Sky Bar just blows.
The downside to Uptown, or any club around here, is the fact that around 12:30 a.m. the place is packed so full, there isn’t much room to move and there is a line of people (usually without jackets and they complain about how cold it is while I laugh) outside that practically stretches to the other side of the city. Anyone who’s seen me dance knows that space is a good thing.
Another drawback to clubs these days is that they don’t feel as fun. They feel heavy. That may not make much sense, but that’s what they feel like.
You have some people who are just there to have fun and there are many others who are looking for an opportunity to get laid. I’m not saying there’s necessarily anything wrong with that —- albeit risky.
The thing is that when clubs feel more heavy than fun, it makes a difference for everybody. The overall experience changes.
Of course, now and then we’ll hear the D.J. say, “Hey, who’s getting f*cking wasteeeed?”
And everyone screams, “Whooooo!”
Then he’ll say, “Hey, who’s getting f*cking laaaaid?”
And everyone screams, “Whoooooo!”
Of course, not everyone is drunk, and relatively few are actually going to get laid. But that seems to be the fun interaction with the D.J. and not to be taken literally — well, not all the time.
When you’ve been clubbing long enough, you can start to tell who’s playing what role that night: the hotties who know they’re hot and have the G-string to prove it, the hotties who don’t know they’re hot but everyone else does, the uglies that think they’re hotties, the ones so drunk that they think everyone’s a hottie, the breakdancers that bust their moves in front of the hotties, the buddies in circles protecting their hotties from the evil people wanting to dance with them, the quirky ones that can’t seem to get anybody to dance with them, the watchers who don’t like dancing but like the music and the wolves.
There are a lot of wolves.
You can look in their faces for a split second and know that they’re looking for something alive, drunk, breathing and willing to be devoured. This can either amuse people who happen to share my sense of humor or freak people out. And that’s too bad, because you shouldn’t have to go to clubs and be freaked out. That’s the opposite of fun for most people.
For me, dancing in a club is a way to actively participate in a fun and lively community of people who love popular music. Yes, the music is exciting and the environment can raise libidos to astronomical levels, but hey, that’s what music and dancing can do.
It’s natural.
That means we don’t have to go into the club with the plan to tap ass, you know? It’s already gonna be there naturally, and that kind of energy is open and pure. We don’t need to be wolves to have a good time. Just go.
Whether we are drunk or sober, smooth dancers or stiff dancers, hot or hit-up, old or young, Jew or Gentile, gay or straight, Palestinian or Al-Quaidian, Republican or Democratic, Christian or atheist, patriot or terrorist, we can all come to the club with a fun-loving spirit and enjoy the night without getting freaked out.
The only other thing I request is that prior to going to the club, please wear deodorant, because when it’s that packed, it can get seriously funky.
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