I was the biggest brat who ever lived on Wednesday afternoon.

When the news broke that John Kerry had conceded, I was inconsolable. I was reduced to a little kid throwing a tantrum. It was all too distressing for me to handle maturely.

I screamed, I swore, I stomped my feet. I was not about to be a grown-up about it.

But I should not feel like I need to brush it off so easily. I voted. I registered other people to vote. I told other people to vote. I debated for hours with almost everyone I knew, and even people I didn’t, in the months prior to the election.

I have every right to bitch about this for the next four years, and I fully intend to.

Not only did we lose the presidency, but we lost seats in Congress. Now, we get to combat a Republican legislature, in addition to a president who will not have to kiss up to voters for re-election again.

The liberal/progressive/Democratic population of this country is going to be miserable for the next four years.

Fortunately, I have a plan to avoid this misery.

Let’s start our own nation.

Half of us want nothing to do with anything the Republicans stand for.

We have never been so polarized. Bush supporters are ecstatic right now. Everyone else is furious. There is no “in-between” reaction.

A liberal/progressive/Democratic ideology is held by more than just a minority. We are not a minority at all — there are tons of us! We won California and all of New England by a landslide, and we always do. That’s a big enough chunk of the population to begin a new nation.

Liberals deserve a place to call our own. I’m tired of sharing with Republicans who misrepresent us to the rest of the world.

Geographically speaking, this may be difficult to pull off. The people we want to include in our new nation (I’m thinking of calling it, “The United States of Liberica”) live at opposite ends of the country.

However, all of the states that Kerry conquered line up nicely for an alliance with Canada. I don’t know how many times I talked to Democrats who swore they would be on the first bus to Ontario if Bush won the election.

I also talked to a lot of Bush supporters who said they would do the same if Kerry won. This is amusing, since Canada is not exactly a breeding ground for conservative activism.

Anyway, we have to join Canada. We have more in common with the Canucks than we do with the morons of middle and southern America, anyway. What have we got to lose?

California, all the New England States, Illinois, Michigan … they’re all going. Hawaii’s going too. One of the maps I saw on the Internet for the proposed “Canada 2.0” calls Hawaii the “Tropic of Canada.”

I realize that as Ohioans, we will have to relocate to one of the aforementioned states in order to become a part of this new liberal haven. This is not a problem. You won’t see me griping about moving to warm-weathered L.A., hip Manhattan, or the intellectually-sound Boston to be a part of Liberica.

Meanwhile, the pro-Bush expanse of the country can retain the Midwest and Southern regions to create the new and improved United State … of Texas.

Here, Bush can preside over a populace that largely supports his antics.

Here, the high concentration of homophobic Christian fanatics can continue preaching their “moral superiority” undisturbed, while salivating at the thought of stripping people of their rights.

Here, filthy rich corporate scum can flock, and continue their trend of not caring about anyone but themselves in peace.

And finally, here, Republicans can continue to live in a world of ignorance. They can rape their land without interference from pesky environmentalists. They can trample all over civil rights. They can underfund their own schools and cut their own health care. They can halt the advancement of science dead in its tracks once and for all.

And the rest of us won’t have to suffer any of it. Nope, because we’ll all be chilling in Liberica.

If we don’t secede from this country, the United States of Texas will be a reality. Not just for the Republicans, but for all of us. This was our chance to take our country back, and we narrowly missed the opportunity.

As a liberal Democrat, I did everything I was supposed to for this election. But I’m still going to get screwed over the next four years by the Republican stronghold in our government, as they continue to make decisions I just don’t agree with.

I’m sick of sharing my country with conservatives and their defective, ridiculous agendas.

It is enough to make me want out.

E-mail Megan with comments at [email protected].