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Geeky qualities in women are desirable by boy nerds

After an exhausting dive for pearls in the razor-sharp broken-glass sea of politics, one must rise to the surface for air. Stay underwater too long and the lungs will burst.

It’s with that in mind that we take a humorous departure from the expected political ranting.

Still, though — controversial points can and should be made in trivial issues.

Consider this thesis: A girl cannot be a geek.

When a girl or woman exhibits interests that would label a boy or man “nerdy” or “dorky,” the female instead appears “cute.” Or, to take it an even step further and provoke further debate: female geekiness is often very attractive.

Now the knee-jerk, yet still seemingly legitimate, response to those ideas is, “Yeah, Dave, of course you would find geeky girls sexy, you’re a geek yourself!”

Were I insisting that only female geeks of the art film, political, graphic novel, literary, spiritual and countercultural variety — those sharing my own antisocial obsessions — applied, then that would be a valid criticism. However, it should be noted that the geek-girl who has read the “Harry Potter” books a dozen times or possesses a shelf full of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” paperbacks is cute just as a girl with all seven books of Grant Morrison’s “The Invisibles” or a carefully-highlighted copy of Eric Alterman’s “What Liberal Media?” is cute.

It’s very simple. Consider a guy who owns several seasons of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” on DVD and has thousands of illegally downloaded, old-school Nintendo games on his computer. Quite a nerd, right? Yet reverse the gender and you’ve got a cute, eccentric young woman with undiminished stock on the dating market.

Of course the thesis is not absolute. There are guys who will object, insisting that their women fit a certain ultra-feminine, plastic mold. Truly though, should one prefer a girlfriend obsessed with make-up and fashion who will drag their poor beloved to the latest “Save the Last Dance” torture session? Or is it better to have a girlfriend who can compete in rounds of “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3” while debating which Martin Scorsese film is the best?

It’s “The Last Temptation of Christ,” by the way.

In discussing this issue with my friend Tim Birkel, whose lovely fiancee Alissa falls into this category of “geek-goddess,” he made perfect sense of the situation, as he’s often known to do: “Most guys like at least one thing that is considered ‘nerdy’ or ‘uncool,’ no matter how ‘cool’ they might be. And generally they try to hide it because they think it will make them unattractive to the fairer sex, hence their denunciation of such things as nerdy. But, once they find a girl that has similar interests in ‘nerdy’ things, they feel free to open up to those girls about being nerdy in one way or another, because they know they won’t be judged by it. Hence, guys like girls with nerdy qualities because it allows us to open up about the inner nerd that every guy has.”

If only he and I could agree on the less trivial debates too — like which guy should have his finger on The Button for the next four years.

And it’s with that thought in mind that we dip our big toe back in the sea and prepare to dive back into the abyss of the political whirlpool next week.

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