No good comes from divorce

Jeremy Dubois and Jeremy Dubois

It’s one of the few things that is supposed to last forever. Nowadays, it seems like it rarely does. The majority of people who I have met in college can relate to this cause; many would like to see it happen one day. And even some who haven’t been through it first hand are aware of the effects it can have on people. I’m talking about marriage and divorce.

A few of us are married now and many more long to be married one day. That’s great, in all, but what sense does it make to get married when chances are likely that it will end in divorce?

It makes me wonder what love really is. It’s easy to love someone, but it’s something totally different when you are in love with someone.

And even if you love or are in love with that special someone and you decide to get married, what’s stopping people’s feelings from changing in a few months or years, regardless of what was said at the alter? People change, you know.

It troubles me to talk about this too because there is no guarantee in the future that there is such a thing as “the right one.” What started off as a good thing could easily, out of nowhere, turn sour.

Nowadays people’s wedding vows are secured in whatever faith they have, rather than entrusted in what was once a promise. It’s so sad, but so true.

I never saw it coming within my own household.

I believe that is the reason I hate surprises because the biggest surprise of my life came when my dad walked in the house one day and said that he wanted a divorce from my mother. That was the time of my life I like to refer to as “troublesome 1997.” Things would never be the same after that year.

My brother, as a result of the divorce, chose to live with my dad, and I chose to live with my mom. Both decisions caused our relationship with the other parent to dwindle and much tension quickly arose.

When I was with my mother, there was conflict with my father, but only for a season. Eventually there became tension with my mother and then there was a brief period of peace with my father.

In the end, I lived with both parents, and from the ages of 13 to 18, whichever parent I wasn’t with, was the one I was likely not to have problems with.

When I was about to turn 18, I moved out of my dad’s house to return to my mother’s house. That’s what it took for the relationship he and I had to be conflict-free.

Skipping a lot of key details because of space limitations, things now are at ease for the most part. As of now, I am the only one in my immediate family of four that doesn’t have any problems with any other family member, when I once had issues with all of them. Therefore, I feel like my role is essential. In a sense, I have to be a peacemaker.

There will be no more direct conflicts with my mother or father because they do not talk; however, my brother has some unresolved issues with my mother that I am trying to help him resolve, and I believe with my intervention, their relationship will be healed in due time.

So what’s the point of this article? It’s simple. Divorce is horrible especially in cases where kids are involved. Too many people are divorced or are getting divorced nowadays. Why, though? Everyone has their own reasons. I don’t have a solution to the problem. Normally, I would have said “Be sure you know what you want and who you want to spend the rest of your life with.” You could know those things, though, and it still not work out. All I will say is be realistic and cautious.

Sometimes you have to expect the unexpected and remember most things don’t last forever, even something as sacred as marriage.

E-mail Jeremy with comments at [email protected].