Umich is a fan’s tutoring ground

Elliott Schreiner and Elliott Schreiner

A trip to Michigan Stadium last weekend to see the Wolverines play Miami University may have changed my life forever.

Well, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it did open my eyes to some good techniques that fans can use to intimidate any team. And yes, I’m talking about Southeast Missouri State. And yes, I’m talking about this weekend’s home opener at the Doyt.

Even BG coach Gregg Brandon, who I don’t think was at the Michigan game, knows the importance of rowdy fans at a home game.

“I’d like to see 30,000 [at the Doyt],” he said. “Our players deserve fan support. We’ve got a good program and if you like college football, it’ll be a great night. The first home game of the season, under the lights, so come on out.”

That is about where coach Brandon’s feelings and my feelings begin to differ. It’s a good thing that Brandon is a coach and not a promoter. He stated that his team was not satisfied with their game against Oklahoma last week.

Well, call me crazy, but I won’t be satisfied with just 30,000 fans.

At the Michigan game there were 110,800 fans on attendence. The Falcons shouldn’t sell themselves short with just 30,000 fans.

I will admit, It will be difficult to get 110,000 people in the Doyt, but just hear me out.

The way I see it, the best way to maximize the space at the Doyt is to take a page from the cheerleaders and make human pyramids. This would allow one seat to sit as many as three or four people. Now I’m no math major, but that would probably add up to somewhere around 110,000. The crowd would be right on the mark then, and we would all look a little cooler while doing something dangerous in front of a lot of people.

Another aspect that the big house brought was an intimidating student section. And while the pyramids will destroy any chances for the wave, students can still wear a uniform color of shirt. In Ann Arbor, the color choice was yellow, I think orange will be all right for BG. After all, brown is the other choice.

Believe it or not, keys also play an important role in fans performing to the maximum. Let’s just say third down for the opposing team is a good time for our jingling little friends.

In the words of Lee Corso: “take the keys out of the ignition, sweetheart.”

A main phrase in Ann Arbor is “who cares.”

For example, when a starting player for the opposing team is named, “who cares” is more than enough to leave them feeling unconfident and self-conscious about themselves, giving BG an extra edge.

And when the fellow yells over the loud speaker to welcome your opponents, a nice boo is in order. It’s the perfect insult for a perfect beginning to any home game.

But opening weekend at the Doyt could even surpass that of the “Big House.”

After all, it will feature a brand new scoreboard (have some of that Michigan).

“I think it’s big-time,” Brandon said. “We’re a big-time program and we need big-time things.”

And while the players need big time things, so do the fans for their efforts.

That is where meal plans at concession stands comes into play. Let’s face it mom and dad, meal plans to you means free food for us. This will be the first year to spend mom and dad’s hard earned money on a well deserved hot dog and soda.

If we can get the 110,000 fans into a 30,000 seat stadium, bring some keys, wear some orange and belittle the opposing team, this could be the finest home opener in the history of college football. After all, we’re getting free hot dogs.