Come November, the U.S. election will in all likelihood not be decided by anything so quaint as “democracy”.

Its all shaping up to be a contest of hysteria.

No sensible person could possibly make the case that Bush has been a good president. Only idiots like the odious trainee bootlickers of the College Republicans and their greedy, old, white, Christian counterparts who write to the Toledo Blade could possibly be so delusional.

All the important things we should be worrying about have taken second (last?) place to that huge crock of fictional horse pellets known as “the War on Terror”.

The real issue therefore, will be the monumental cowardice of these supposed “avarage” Americans, the ones whom the equally as cowardly College Republicans claim to speak for.

Such a person cowers behind the world’s largest and most expensive military, who are cowering in turn behind their airstrikes and barbed wire, and yet is still afraid of being “terrorizized” to death.

This person makes up for this monumental inferiority by throwing around childish slogans about colors that don’t run like cluster bombs. Tough talk spills from their lips like blood from an Iraqi baby; false piety gushes with it, and, if one was terminally stupid, you might almost believe they cared about democracy in the Middle East.

The biggest bullies usually have the loudest mouths and the weakest personalities (remember high school?), and the collective mouth of these hyper-masculine toilet smears is drowning out the collective voices of the rest of the world.

When Bush II eventually dies in his bed, like all the greedy, grasping mass-murderers since JFK, we will no doubt react the same way as when that disgusting old dog-turd Ronald Reagan pulled the same stunt.

Bush II will have been a “great leader in a time of crisis,” just like all the rancid Republicans are so fond of pointing out in the editorials they have sent down from party headquarters.

I’d love to see the sensible people in this country represented in the polls, instead of just the mouth-foaming moron Christian-Zionists that believe the focus of US “democracy” should be “which non-whites need to be killed next.”

In November, many of these sensible people will go to the polls and cast their vote for the less insane prick on the ballot with a sigh; how many more will pull the levers and push the buttons thinking “what if Osama bin Hussein and his non-Jesus-loving minions come and kill me and my children in Nowheresville, OH? I’d best vote for the psychopath that made me so worried about that in the first place.”

I wonder whether this paper should even bother continuing with the laughable delusion that we are having a “debate” about this subject, or indeed any serious subject?

We are not.

Why not just keep putting “humor column” trash about how hot dumb girls are (or how dumb hot girls are) into the middle pages?

That seems to find a receptive audience among the very fools I’ve been raving about.

Finally, I’d like to point out to the odious slime toeing their party line that I am not a Democrat, or even, really, a “liberal.”

I hated Bill Clinton as well, before anyone drags that moldy argument out of their closet of imbecility.

As usual, hysterical, short-sighted and poorly written editorializers will want to critique my blatant attack on their cowardice and insecurity. I’m asking them to try to avoid using ridiculous schoolyard phrases like “with us or against us” or “blah blah hates America.”

Repetition doesn’t make it true, it only seems that way to fools.