Sshh! I’m in the middle of an important hand. I’ve got all my chips in the middle of the table, and I think I’m going to win because everyone is looking at me and not saying anything. They might be intimidated.

All these guys started yelling and high-fiving each other, and I got a bit excited and threw all my chips in the pot. Thing is, I just started playing poker a few weeks ago. ESPN shows it all the time, and if it’s on TV, it must be cool!

Even though it’s extremely popular, I’m not real sure how to play Texas hold’ em. I’ve got a 2, a 7, a Joker and a couple of cards with faces on them are lying on the table.

I’m not sure what to do next, but all I have to do is give one guy 10 black chips, and I win new cards every time. I think I’m a natural. The guys I’m playing with are super cool, too. I think they’re on a poker team because they all have pink shirts, sunglasses and are very tan. I met them down at Ray’s, and they invited me back to their house to play cards. It’s funny because these seem like the sort of dudes that would beat up a guy in a pink shirt a year ago, but now MTV says pink is cool, so it’s all good!

I probably should have told these guys I was broke before we started, but I was having so much fun. I didn’t want to ruin their night. Man, I can’t wait until next week when I have a poker party. I’ve got an Usher CD, table, chips, salsa, pink baby T’s, a few friends and a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice. Lets shuffle up and deal. Wait! Does anybody have any cards?

Dude, where’s my life?

Dude, this is some good stuff. No, no seriously dude, this is the funk. I got it from some meth-head in my hometown. I don’t mess with that stuff though. I’m all natural, no harmful chemicals in my body. Hey, are we out of Mountain Dew?

Man, I feel so cool right now, but I feel like I’m forgetting to do something. Oh yeah, pay rent. Dude, my dad keeps on busting my balls to go and “make something of myself.” I tell him, “Dad, I’m only 28, I’m not gonna be working as a grill cook forever, damn.” Plus, I’ve only got four semesters left until I get my general studies degree, and then the world is my oyster.

I’ve got lots of stuff to keep me busy. The ultimate frisbee team is looking good, my band may start practicing soon and I still have 30 hours of community service left for that possession charge.

Besides, I’ve got the perfect life as it is. I live in a sweet house downtown with a basement. I have a cool dog named Resin, two hacky sacks and my own bedroom in December. I’ve got all I could ever want.

Although, I guess some money would be nice. I’m getting tired of eating Ramen noodles and Easy Mac every day. Oh well, it could be worse I guess. I could be stuck in some office all day working for the man.