For those of us left here in Bowling Green this summer, looking at the world around us surely inspires a question or two.

“Is it raining again?”

“Do I have West Nile virus?”

“Ack! Where did all these orange barrels come from?”

While all of these are certain to be questions pressing upon our adolescent minds, recently one question has been bothering me more than any other: “What do I do now?”

You see my friends, this last session your noble writer made the bold decision to take 12 credit hours. That’s right, 12 credit hours stuffed into one six week session. I also work about 25 hours a week. And I write this column. Well, you get the point.

As you might have gathered, free time has been something extremely rare for me these last few weeks. I haven’t been able to eat well. I haven’t gotten enough sleep. I haven’t been able to get in a good workout, so my love handles are getting flabby. It’s not been a pretty picture.

However, with the first session over, I suddenly find myself with all sorts of free time on my hands.

So, first of all, I’ve decided to reestablish some old relationships. I’ve reinstated my once-stringent regimen of personal hygiene. I’ve managed to hit the gym a time or two. And, perhaps most importantly, I’ve dusted off my Playstation 2, which I’ve had to coldly ignore these last few weeks. It took some coaxing, but I’m back in video game heaven. I only had to promise it that we’d never fight again.

However, try as I might, I haven’t been able to fill these long hours spent in the stifling heat. “What,” I began to wonder, “can I do next?”

Well friends, I’ve come up with some answers, and hopefully you can use some of the knowledge I’ve acquired to make your summer that much more enjoyable. So if you’re reading this because you’re bored, look no further.

There are several exciting things to do in Bowling Green itself. You could arm yourself with a net, some gloves and a rabies vaccination and settle the long-unanswered question of whether or not there truly are more squirrels in Bowling Green than people.

You could quench your thirst for body modification at any of Bowling Green’s many tattoo distilleries. Send pictures home, and watch the fun ensue.

Since Dr. Ribeau seems to feel that his house isn’t quite good enough, you could visit him at 632 Hillcrest Drive. Being a man of the people, I’m sure he’d be glad to invite you in. Maybe you could even have cookies! But if Dr. Ribeau isn’t there, be sure to leave behind a picture of the inside of your house or apartment so he knows what it’s like to live in real squalor. The horror!

Believe it or not, Bowling Green actually has a bike trail, so you could oil up the old chain and go for a spin. If that doesn’t catch your fancy, you could ride your bike down to the bars at night. It’s much quicker, and it sure makes the trip back home a lot more interesting.

But if the impossible should occur, and you should find yourself in Bowling Green with a dearth of activities that grab your fancy, things here on campus can be a load of fun, too.

You could wander around by the Education Building and ask students there how they feel they are doing on the isolation vs. intimacy stage of their psychosocial development.

You could tour the unknown splendor of Jerome Library (it’s nine floors tall!) — maybe you’ll even find a book there to read.

But perhaps the most amusing activity on campus in the summer (or anytime, really) is to throw pennies (or even nickels if you’re feeling generous) at the students in the Business Administration Building. Since these people are going to be the owners and CEOs of American companies, and it’s a company’s solemn duty to do anything (and I mean anything) in its power to make a profit, teaching these students the value of every last penny is an important duty we all can help teach.

Get them in the habit now, I say. That way, when they lay off all of their workers and move their factory to Mexico, there’ll be no tears shed .

Hopefully a few of the things I’ve listed here sound amusing. Hopefully this article has helped everyone realize that there is more to summer than barbequing and alcoholing one’s self into a sun-drenched frenzy.

Take some time this summer to pluck the luscious fruit Bowling Green has to offer. At the same time, maybe you can even help someone else. Dare to dream.

E-mail Shaun with comments at [email protected].