I have always been considered intelligent.
My teachers as far back as I can remember talked about how bright I was. Later, my high school teachers would talk to me about how I was wasting my potential in being so academically lazy.
My friends, my family and my acquaintances have all said something about how smart I am at various times in my life.
In my hardest times, my true trials, I held on to my intellect and tried to not let it get stagnate. I have always felt like the smartest person in the room.
What has this gotten me?
It has given me confidence to go back to school and succeed where I once failed miserably.
What else has it given me? It has given me a thirst for knowledge that is ceaseless.
What else you ask? I will tell you: an arrogance and sense of grandiosity that hurt me in countless ways. I have alienated many with my overbearing nature.
I cannot blame them; insufferableness is not fun to be around.
So why am I telling you this?
Why am I sounding haughty?
Why am I admitting to this personal foible? The answer is our fair University.
I began graduate school in fall of 2011 and I soon found out that so many of you, my fellow students, are flat-out brilliant.
To state that my professors are on another plane goes without saying, but it is you, my fellow Falcons, that have really humbled me.
I find the mark of true intelligence to be the ability to look beyond Door One, to really perceive.
I have that ability and sometimes I can even look behind Door Three and Four. I have met those that go way beyond this. As I sit in class, the library or my graduate lab, I am truly gob-smacked by the absolute intellectual power being put before me at times.
I find this beyond fascinating, frustrating and curious.
I am fascinated because these people, almost all younger than I, are so dedicated and smart.
I have to wonder: was I that poor of a student or is the level of education they received so far superior to what I received? I am frustrated because I am not used to being behind the intellectual curve that often.
It is a new, complex, and weird feeling.
Yes, I am not the class dunce. I am still intelligent with much to offer any discussion.
I just am not used to being at the end of the line in this way as I find myself at times.
As for curiosity, I wonder if I am that far behind and what can I do about it? Is this a fleeting feeling or an unreal one? Is this a momentary crisis of confidence? The answer is probably all of the above.
This sounds like a column filled with boasts, whining, low self-esteem, questioning and self-loathing.
I assure you it is not.
These great minds around me at times bring me down but mostly they uplift me. I am marveled by you smart, young people.
Take it from the old man here: keep cultivating your mind, never waste a moment to learn and cherish this university atmosphere. It truly is like no other.
Respond to Paul at
