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Build confidence, don’t destroy

There are many ways to build confidence and self-esteem.

A simple Google search brings up a multitude of blog posts and self-help articles that list tips in order to do this. The most common tips include, but are not limited to, setting up clear and quantifiable goals, adding more meditation or exercise into your daily life and listing or focusing on positive aspects of yourself.

One tip that I was not able to find on any of these sites was the suggestion that stealing your confidence from someone else is admissible, let alone helpful.

Why then, are so many of us trying to do just that?

You may not be willing to admit it. You might not even be doing it consciously, but it’s as simple as sharing a funny post on Facebook.

The most common of these posts include the meme “Some girls are like… but I’m like” that often come accompanied by images of vanities covered in cosmetic products under the “other girls” header and images of “cool” or “nerdy” girls listening to music or playing video games under the “me” category.

This fickle way of thinking is harmful to everyone involved.

Tearing down other groups of people to build up your own confidence, or “stealing” your confidence can offend friends who fall under this “other” category at best and actually weaken your own confidence and the confidence of those around you at worst.

This cultural obsession with setting yourself apart from what is seen as the common group and making yourself look special or better than others is not a new concept.

It’s alright to want to stand out from a crowd, it’s alright to want to feel special. The misconception comes in how to do this. While the aforementioned Facebook posts aim to make the “other” category seem frivolous or ridiculous, the best way to present yourself as ahead of the group is to focus on your own accomplishments and personality and to let these aspects stand on their own.

A great way to build confidence in both yourself and the others around you is to dish compliments rather than alienating yourself from others to try to make yourself seem superior.

What does it matter to you what others wear or how much makeup they apply or what music they listen to? What good does it do to share unsolicited opinions? Do what you love and let others do what they love.

People will notice your kindness more than your supposed superiority.

Respond to Taylor at

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