Stubble, stubble, feminist trouble

I Veeted. So sue me. If all you uber-feminists judge me because of it, so be it.

In honor of this Halloween holiday season, I thought it appropriate to have silky smooth legs – the silkiest, smoothest legs of my whole life. And according to the commercials, Veet can give me a silky smooth sensation that can last up to twice as long as shaving.

I was cheerful, hopeful, filled with the promise of the silky smoothness to come, but two minutes later, my legs covered in cream, I felt the slight burn of chemicals eating the hair from my legs. I passed it off as though my legs were “breathing,” and “breathing” is good. Right?

Turns out, though, “breathing” was actually Veet hair removal cream eating not only the hair off my legs but my skin as well. My legs broke out in hives and I sat in pain as they itched and burned for the next hour. My roommates went from friends to special task force. Their mission: to find antihistamines.

I took a large dose of NyQuil and went to sleep itching and scratching before waking up hive-free, but hungover. I had overslept, so no time for coffee, but without coffee, I had no real ability to function, so I was stuck in a lose-lose. I felt silly and ridiculous – and I hate feeling silly and ridiculous – all because of Veet.

But the stinging pain of my Veeting was nothing compared to what I felt when a female peer recently belittled me because of my status as friendly blonde. I could see her condemning me for crimes against the feminist agenda – for general silliness. I have a brain, and I like silky smooth legs.

It’s often a tough thing to reconcile as a woman, and I find I’m judged not by men for my blond hair and primping, but by my fellow women.

Serious girls with brown hair like to turn up their noses at me when I laugh, say hello or tell them I like their bag. This, I would argue, is the downfall of feminism. Women are too quick to judge one another.

Ladies, let’s get a few things straight. We’re on the same team. And men are on our team too — Team Humanity. You can Veet at your own peril, but on top of agonizing itching, you should not have to fear the backlash of the bitch brigade judging you for wanting smooth legs. The only people who stop us from being able to be our whole selves – thinkers, lovers, fighters, etc., all in one woman-shaped package – are ourselves, as we immediately place our fellow women into categories, identifying them as “one of THOSE girls.”

So don’t trip, and don’t judge. Sure, Veeting is an exercise in silliness. It doesn’t mean anyone who Veets is dumb. And, sure, having a super-short hair cut and not shaving your legs is low-maintenance. Those choices don’t make a woman any smarter; they just make her less hairy on her head and hairier everywhere else.