Last Wednesday, campus plunged into a state of paranoia and emergency. University access to Facebook was down, and campus administration was the prime suspect. Conspiracy theories flew left and right claiming the University banned the social networking site because of an anti-Stroh Center petition. Even when the portal to Facebook was repaired within an hour, and a complete explanation for the traumatic catastrophe was available online, many students continued to believe the University was harboring a dark plot to clamp down on their freedom of expression. The great thing about conspiracy theories is they are always true, regardless of facts. According to the University, a Domain Name System (DNS) server error temporarily prevented access to sites like Facebook. According to paranoid students, a petition against the Stroh Center has been circulating on Facebook and in a pseudo-fascist attempt to squash this dissent the University blocked the site containing the offending petition. Then the administration unblocked Facebook, either to prevent a student rebellion or demonstrate its control over students’ personal expression. The truth is out there, Agent Scully. There is no reason for the University to block Facebook, even if there was a petition circulating on it. The student body has already approved the construction of the Stroh Center through their diligent representatives in the USG. Thus, any petitions against the Center would carry very little weight. Besides, the University has already made it abundantly clear they don’t need student approval to build the Stroh Center; USG was only consulted as a courtesy. I also have trouble believing the administration would actually try to limit freedom of expression in such a blatant way. With Facebook being so crucial to students’ social lives, any attempt to block the site would incite exactly the uproar and confusion seen Wednesday. This reaction is predictable, even to those with the most limited of public relations knowledge. Call me a raging idealist, but I refuse to believe the leaders of the University don’t know their PR. Additionally, blocking Facebook because of an online petition would be a blatant violation of the First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of petition. Given the University’s precarious financial state, I doubt they would risk inciting a constitutional lawsuit, especially over something as trivial as the Stroh Center. So if the Facebook conspiracy theories are so illogical, why do so many people believe them? Frankly, conspiracies are sexy. We Americans like to believe we’re all victims of massive forces beyond our control. As a people, we support underdogs and want to be underdogs. Our nation was born in conspiracy theories and rebellion, and our solidarity is sustained by these conspiracy theories and rebellions. In 1776, we revolted against Great Britain because people believed there was a conspiracy to bleed the under-represented colonists of their hard-earned money (never mind the American colonists had the lowest taxes of all British citizens, and the taxes were going to pay for the colonists’ war against the French). During the Cold War, the nation was held together by fears of a supposed Communist conspiracy against America. Then in 2001, conspiracy theories about a massive terrorist organization that ‘hates us for our freedom’ led to an upswing in nationalism. I have even heard writers like David Limbaugh (Rush’s brother) spin tales about a conspiracy against traditional Christian beliefs. According to Limbaugh, this conspiracy is orchestrated by gays and atheists, who are manipulating America’s educational system for their own dark ends. Limbaugh uses this conspiracy theory to encourage solidarity among Christians. Americans have always needed to feel persecuted. Activists have always been willing to see conspiracies in innocent events. And leaders have always been willing to harness these conspiracy theories to encourage unity within their respective groups. While the Facebook conspiracy is just a harmless musing right now, conspiracy theories have a tendency to spiral out of control. As a people, we need to be on guard against conspiracy theories, subjecting them to rigorous logical analysis in an attempt to find the truth, lest paranoia descend to zealotry.