If I were to make a list of the things that scare me, it would be as short and unusual as Lady GaGa’s Crayola-yellow wig.
No. 1: Suffocating underneath my comforter. I can’t put my head under a blanket for more than five seconds without suffering from a severe case of claustrophobia. It made fort-making as a child incredibly awkward.
No. 2: Answering phone calls from numbers not in my caller ID. Part of me imagines the dude from “Scream” is on the other end.
No. 3: Vegan food. It’s tasteless and pushed by the agenda of crazy, animal-loving, naked people. (Shudder.)
But as one gets older, one must start to face her fears. And seeing as every time one of these three confronts me, there is no bolt of lightning and no horse whinny like the one Dr. Frankenstein received after saying, “Frau Blücher.” Perhaps I have less to fear than I imagined.
I still won’t keep my head under a blanket for any extended length of time. And I’ll probably still wince every time 10 unknown numbers show up on my cell. But today, I take a step in the right direction, for all of us quaking over the idea of “vegan” anything.
I Can’t Believe It’s Vegan!
Here is a list of unbelievably vegan foods. It can make even the heartiest meat-eater among us become a shining example of animal rights activism. Go ahead, face your fear, feel good about yourself. Get the complete list at http://www.peta.org/accidentallyVegan/default.asp.
Apple Jacks
Betty Crocker Bisquick
Blow pops
Bubble Tape gum
Cap’n Crunch Cereal Peanut Butter Crunch
Cocoa Puffs
Cracker Jacks
Doritos spicy sweet chili flavored Tortilla chips
Dots
Duncan Hines creamy home-style Frosting (chocolate)
Famous Amos sandwich cookies
Fritos (original and barbecue)
Frosted Flakes
Fruit By the Foot
Ghirardelli hot chocolate
Green Giant cream style sweet corn
Healthy Choice garden vegetable soup
Jell-O instant pudding (pistachio, banana crème, lemon and vanilla)
Keebler animal crackers
Keebler Ready crust pie crusts (graham cracker)
Kool-Aid drink mix
Krispy Kreme fruit pies
Lay’s Stax
Lay’s yellow corn chips
Life cereal
Red Bull energy drink
Rice Krispies
