Dating has taken on a new meaning throughout the years. While a fancy, formal type date may have been the status quo in the ‘90s, anymore a “date” can range from napping together to eating crummy Chinese food and watching the newest Netflix movie.
Along with the format of dates, something else major has changed: the confidence to interact with a significant other before beginning to date.
In one of my favorite movies “We Bought a Zoo,” one of the main characters describes a concept I will never forget- 20 seconds of courage. The phrase signifies that when faced with a potentially embarrassing and nerve-wracking task, all it takes is 20 seconds of courage to face that task, and then it’s over. It can be easy to get lost in the daunting task of mustering up enough bravery to speak to that person and ask them out.
But what many people don’t realize is that it is okay to be confident. In our society today, confidence is perceived as cockiness. When a person holds their head high and freely expresses themselves, judgment is often quickly trailing behind. Our society promotes keeping your head down and sticking to the status quo, and terms like “hipster” may obtain a negative connotation.
In the “olden days,” the only way to ask someone on a date was to confront them and physically ask them. Now with the creation of social media and technology, we don’t have to confront the difficulty of face-to-face interaction. Anymore, a date or hang out is just a text or Snapchat away. While this may be convenient, there are also consequences to losing physical conversation.
Interacting on social media is killing chivalry. Yes, sometimes boys are raised right and use their manners and act appropriately. But, with the increased use of technology as a form of communication, it allows for chivalry to not be necessary when beginning relationships any longer. Instead of having to muster up the courage and charm one another into going on a date, we just type out a text and press send.
There is something to be said for putting aside the social media and formally asking someone on a date. While yes, it may seem like a difficult and daunting task it is most definitely worth it in the end.
As women, I much prefer a man who is confident than a man who hides behind his online profile.
But I am just one person! So to put this concept to the test I hit campus and asked 50 girls whether or not they would prefer to be asked on a date in person or over text. Not surprisingly, every single girl responded that they would rather be asked on a date in person. So while yes, it may seem nerve-wracking to have that face-to-face confrontation, the stats can’t lie! Women like a confident man, and asking her on a date in person seems like the way to go.
The next time you reach for your phone to grab a girl’s digits, try just asking her for coffee or food! 20 seconds of courage is all it takes, so make your seconds count.
Reply to Bailey at
