Oh look a college student writing about love, that’s never been done before I’m sure.
Why are we conditioned to feel embarrassed to talk about love or for that matter express it? I’ve spent a good part of my 20 years hiding my Nicholas Sparks books and keeping my excitement over romcoms to myself. I couldn’t be more excited to write this, but my secret love for love comes to an end with this column.
I remember the first love story I ever read and it wasn’t a life-changing epiphany like I experienced reading “Revolutionary Road.”
I read “These Lovely Golden Years,” by Laura Ingalls Wilder and it was about a simple young couple settling their first house together in the pioneer days. The idea of finding another person who you could like enough to marry and spend the rest of your life seemed innocent and beautiful to my second grade heart.
It wasn’t until I got to my teenage years that I started to realize that the media portrays love stories as “chick flicks,” that One Direction sings girly songs that aren’t given a second professional thought in the music industry, or something you’d only truly enjoy if you wished to be called a girl.
Labeling anything that is categorized as a love story as “girlie” is not only an insult to women, but also degradation to anyone who enjoys the genre. Love is not just for girls; love is for lovers and those who want to feel the emotion that surrounds giving yourself over to another person.
Enjoying love stories is not something that should be shamed or dictated by a certain gender.
Now I am not saying love as a genre is the best thing since sliced bread (although I do love good bread); I am saying that it’s just as equal and important as other genres.
Action movies such as Marvel’s Avengers series are praised as fun for the whole family (despite PG-13 ratings and violent battle sequences), while romance movies are generally viewed as only appropriate for adults and marketed towards older women.
The movie industry is a business first and foremost and those marketing practices are effective when it comes to ticket sales, but they instill a false sense of acceptance of who should see romance movies.
That same principle rings true in pop music as well. In reality, artists who are accepted by both genders still sing about love it’s usually just in a more subtle way.
When One Direction was an active touring band they garnered excessive female attention, but were usually passed over by males because they weren’t seen as a masculine influence with their focus on love.
Love songs can be delivered in any form and can be felt by those willing to connect to the messages the artists are trying to convey. However, most love songs are more willingly accepted when they come from a female artist.
This is a problem, because male artists sing about love at the same level but are usually on the top of the charts with songs that degrade the act of love by denouncing relationships for hookups with partners that don’t even deserve names.
From a young age kids are taught the separation of love and action at the drive thru window. McDonald’s still asks customers if they want a “boy” or a “girl” toy in their happy meals. A doll can be played with in a gentle manner, perhaps in a pretend game of playing house. An action figure can be used for mock battles of destruction or passionate feuding. It is up to the discretion of the parent on how the children should play with their toys, but when the child sees certain images on television they are influenced to lean towards what they know.
To get to the meat and potatoes of the issue here, love and acceptance should not be something to hide or shy away from as I have done for years. I have not shown my feelings toward others because I have always been trained to see that as a weakness or inappropriate. However, as I am getting older and meeting wonderful people through college I have found that it’s okay to let people know how much you appreciate them.
Without acknowledging love, there is no room for spiritual and emotional growth. Don’t be scared to talk about your favorite love stories (mine is “Moulin Rouge”), never hold back your favorite song because you think someone will make fun of you, don’t be too shy to hug your best friend because you have sweaty palms and most of all don’t ever miss your chance to tell someone how much they mean to you.
