Itís unfortunate that many people view abuse as more of a female issue. Men face abusive relationships too, so itís unfortunate that many times women are ìnaturallyî expected to use extra safety precautions while driving or walking alone at night. Why should women bear the burden of taking extra precautions like keeping pepper spray in their purse in case theyíre attacked? Men should believe they have to do the same.
I canít forget the men that already realize this fact though. Iím not bashing all males; just those that are so chauvinistic that they have no idea how to respect any lady. Call me old-fashioned, but the men should be preventing further attacks on women by chauvinistic ones.
If someone hits a girl (or vice-versa), the friends of the boy should reach out and frazzle the boy a little to help him realize what he did was wrong. They are not only helping the girl, but theyíre helping the boy realize what he did.
Fortunately Iím one of the lucky ones who has a significant other who listens to and respects me. He even joined me in a presentation on Saturday in honor of this month being Womenís Health Month. I originally thought the presentation was a sort of play, and I was surprised to find that it was a seminar about healthy and abusive relationships. He was surprised too, but itís a topic I think is very important so he was willing to stay.
Sept. was Womenís Health Month, and the Bowling Green branch of the American Association of University Women (AAUW) has been busy doing their part to help young women understand that ìLove Shouldnít Hurt.î That was the topic in the Mileti Alumni Center Saturday afternoon where I sat comfortably in a roomful of at least 40 other women. It was like a group of girls gathered for an overnight sleepover, complete with pizza, brownies, great ideas and prizes.
The first part of the presentation stressed the importance of daily journal writing as a way of relieving stress in our lives. Writing can help clear the mind when things get tough and itís a really good way to set goals and check up on them later. Iíll admit I write occasionally, but itís usually on scraps of paper or in the margin of my notes during class.
The second part of the presentation focused on what makes a healthy relationship work. A good relationship is made up of honesty, equality and respect (HER). Honesty is trusting one another, equality is not trying to dominate each other and respect is not forcing the other to do something he or she doesnít want to do. If any relationship lacks these values, itís very difficult for it to work. Again, Iím one of the lucky ones because I walked away from the program realizing that Iíve got it pretty good.
The program also gave valuable information about things to watch out for, like dating anyone with a history of violence in their own families. If a potential girlfriend/boyfriend has hit / hurt his/her prior girlfriend or boyfriend, thereís a greater chance that he or she will hit/hurt someone again. If they have explosive tempers, break or smash things when they are angry, want their way all the time, or blame their failures on other people, be aware that anyone can be a target. That means stay away because the other person doesnít know how to control his/her emotions and will hurt you too.
This program was especially helpful for the younger women who attended. The presentation was targeted for all girls and young women between the ages of 10 and 18. I think itís important for young girls to have a foundation in the back of their minds to carry with them throughout their lives. After all, with all of the different personas young girls see today, it can be confusing trying to find out who they are.
This was the first time the program had been given a grant to be conducted at the University. Overall, the presentation was a success, and a lot of young girls left with a better awareness of what makes up a healthy relationship. I left hoping that the program would continue and that more people would be able to see it for themselves.
