It’s Misery for “Missouri Fan.”

Throughout Saturday night’s lopsided contest, the Falcon faithful were basking in a party-like atmosphere at Doyt L. Perry Stadium. The band was working overtime, the free pom-poms were flying, and the scoreboard mirrored the crowd’s enthusiasm: a 51-28 triumph for BG.

There were some people in attendance, however, who were not enjoying the sound of the cannon or the spectacle of BG’s levitating touchdown chest-bumps. To be more specific, the frowning faces in the black and gold were the loyal fans of the Missouri Tigers, the team on the losing end of Saturday’s rout.

As I took my seat on the visitors’ side of the stadium, I found myself mostly surrounded by familiar brown and orange. The large hometown crowd was successfully drowning out any trace of the enemy’s contingent. But then, despite his relative silence, I began to notice the presence of “Missouri Fan.” And as I observed this poor guy during the game, I couldn’t help but think of the awful day he must be having.

When he rolled out of bed Saturday morning, Missouri Fan was feeling great. His team was 2-0, and he and his buddies were about to drive across the country, some 600 miles, from the Mizzou campus in Columbia all the way to Bowling Green, Ohio. Having planned the trip on an internet mapmaker, they figured they could leave at 7 a.m. their time and roll up on BG right in time for the 6 p.m. kickoff.

Of course, halfway through the trip, Missouri Fan realized that stopping for lunch or dinner would be impossible if they wanted to make it in time. So, after scrounging for the $5 for parking, Missouri Fan stepped through the gates of Perry Stadium, feeling exhausted and starving for food. But he and his buddies were re-energized by seeing their beloved Tigers take the field. The bad weather that followed them on their drive seemed to be clearing out, too.

Then, two minutes into the game, BG quarterback Josh Harris caught a 34 yard TD pass from his own receiver, Cole Magner. And before Missouri Fan had even bought himself a hot dog, the Tigers were playing catch-up.

For the next hour or so, Missouri Fan got heckled by Falcon fanatics, and all his retorts just sounded stupid as his team got torn apart on the field. People laughed at his “Go Tigers!” chants. A BG fan waved around a stuffed Tiger with a noose around its neck, and cruel fans kept referring to Mizzou safety Taurus Ferguson as “Turd” Ferguson. Missouri Fan held back a tear.

Then the rains came. While BG fans threw on their jackets or used their free pom-poms as protective head gear, Missouri Fan realized he left his brand new Tigers jacket in the car. He spent the next quarter hunched over and saturated.

By the time BG’s Mitch Hewitt ran an interception back for a touchdown and extended the lead to 30, Missouri Fan and his buddies were walking toward the parking lot. They were embarrassed, broke, and their wet clothes were starting to smell.

Too proud to stay the night in enemy territory, Missouri Fan decided to sleep in his car, which was later ticketed and towed as he slept in it. Just another lesson learned for those yet to respect Falcon football in 2002.