One of the scariest things in life is not knowing. We strive to communicate with people our whole life, yet we still find ourselves in situations that are confusing and hurtful.
When I first transferred to Bowling Green from Miami, I had no idea the type of transformation of schools and environment would be so different. I was dating my high school sweetheart of four years and we were perfect. Long distance was tough and played a toll on our relationship, so we ended up breaking up. It was obviously one of the most difficult situations I had ever been through, I mean come on, we dated for four years.
Anyway, I met another guy. He became one of my best friends and he treated me like a princess. He was thoughtful, smart, funny, caring, etc. All of the cliché things you can possibly think of, he was.
Being the messed up girl I was from my high school sweetheart, I was mean to him. I took advantage of him knowing that no matter how I treated him, he would always come back to me. Messed up, right? Oh it gets better.
He waited for me for about seven months before I final decided I wanted to be with him. He was ecstatic. So we dated and it was great until I couldn’t get over my past, so I threw it in his face every chance I got. Every time we would get in any type of fight, big or little, I would just break up with him.
“Baby, I think I am going to go out tonight,” He would tell me.
“FINE, WE ARE OVER,” I would reply.
I’m serious. It was absolutely pathetic and ridiculous. Of course, for months, my tactic worked and he would always be by my side trying his hardest to fix the problem even though it was clearly not his fault.
Months went on and the same thing would continue to happen until he finally had enough. He broke up with me over Skype in August, right before school. He said I was an emotional roller coaster and he fell out of love with me. I can’t blame him, I treated him like complete crap. Needless to say, I was actually devastated. I didn’t realize how much I missed or loved him until he wasn’t there anymore.
If there is one thing I have learned from going through this, it’s that getting a reaction out of people and taking advantage of them, is possibly the worst thing to do. Now, I am dating an even better guy and although we have had some rough patches, I handle the situation better than a spontaneous break up.
I didn’t like the person I was. I was miserable, but I learned how to not let my past interfere with my future and I couldn’t be more happy than I am now because I learned from my very stupid actions.
