One of the harder questions you may ask yourself is: When do you know it is time to say goodbye to a friendship? This crew has been your go to for adventure, endless nights of talking while eating pizza and the people you counted on most when you were struggling. Now, perhaps you have changed or they have, but something just does not seem the same when you come over to hang out. Either way, time spent with them feels less and less constructive and more along the lines of taxing to your overall mood.
The first thing to account for is “Do they lift me up or bring me down?” If negativity lurks behind all of your conversations with them, then you are going to feel more negative.
Healthy friendships seek to have open and constructive conversations where passions, ideas and laughter can be exchanged. If you feel like the main topic of the conversations tends to be saddening or critical you will begin to feel drained of optimism.
The second question to ask yourself is “Do they love who I was or who I am becoming?” The truth is, we all change and some more than others.
A few months ago, you may have held different ideals or placed emphasis on one area of your life as opposed to another. In any case, you have switched things up and that may have unsettled some of your crew. Now you don’t always agree on the same things and changes like this tend to require a little adjustment to the group dynamic. Some people just will not accept who we choose to be. You need people who love to watch you grow, so no matter who you decide to be, you can be exactly that without fear.
The third question to ask yourself is “Do these friends allow you to branch out and have a diverse group of friends, or is your friendship exclusive?” They may balk at hearing tales of your new friends or even discourage you from seeing such friends. This makes branching out next to impossible when you are stuck being guilt tripped or even ridiculed for some of the new pals you make. You must seek people who encourage you to build other friendships and even include these new friends into the circle. You never know, you may be making a new forever friend with this welcoming attitude.
In any case, friends should uplift you, appreciate all the changes you undergo and allow you to meet and experience as many new people as possible. If you find your friendships lacking in these areas, you may need to part ways or attain some distance in order to achieve all that you can personally and professionally. This may be difficult to do, but you can always cherish the nights that turned into mornings with your old crew. Say to yourself “It is time to do what is best for me,” and welcome into your life all the new and positive experiences you encounter.
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