“TV is trash. I was raised without it. We don’t have magazines or newspapers in the house either.”

Parenting advice. From Dr. Spock? Straight from the pages of Parenting magazine?

Nope. It’s from an article entitled, “Madonna’s Parenting Secrets.” Did you ever think you would see the day – Madonna as a parenting icon?

Is the next generation of children in such a terrible state that we must defer to the judgment of people like Madonna?

Has parenting become such a dreadful task that it must be made “glamorous” by pointing out pop culture icons who do it while juggling their glitzy lifestyles?

Forget the help of their nannies and personal chefs – they are still super humans.

Madonna should be commended for still being married – at least, to her second child’s father. She has a partner, and therefore her “juggling” of children and an “artistic” career is fairly simple.

For most of the Hollywood and artistic elite who claim to have talent and habitually invade our living rooms, parenting is much more difficult. Their marriages, if they even exist, usually last about five and a half seconds.

Because Madonna is revered as an icon of womanhood, women might be tempted to look to her as a parental status symbol.

If she can pull off a pointy bustier, those ridiculous fashion trends she started, basically having sex on TV, and turning an entire generation of young women into (you fill in the blanks), she must have something trailblazing and earth-shattering to offer the world of parenting, too!

Aging has not stopped Madonna from being a pioneer. Remember “the kiss” she shared with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards?

The good news is that Madonna, being the conscientious mother she is, made sure that after her daughter Lourdes’ brief appearance on stage, she was quickly shuttled out of the building and taken to a place where she would be blissfully unaware that her mother was making out with two other women in front of the entire universe.

In the name of entertainment and greed, however, Madonna found nothing wrong with everyone else’s kids seeing her making out with Aguilera and Spears.

It really is one big double standard. If Madonna bans TV and other forms of media from her pristine household because they are “trash,” why does she continue to contribute to that trash?

She has said that her children are none the wiser of their mother’s sexual persona, presumably because she is such a fantastic mother, and terrific at preventing smut from finding its way into her household.

Yet, as long as Madonna produces garbage, is she not increasing the chance that her children might happen to see it?

Does she think she can place a plastic bubble around her children that will prevent them from possibly seeing the trash their mother produced in the name of “popular culture” (read: greed and fame) or from going to a friend’s house, where perhaps the parents are less “conscientious”?

Madonna’s overbearing parenting is evidence of her awareness that she was responsible for the corruption of two decades’ worth, and counting, of young women whose parents had their teachings undone by Madonna’s cunning and disgusting displays.

She was involved in the group that began the “sexual revolution” – and she made many of the kids of my generation completely uninhibited.

Now that she’s made her fortune in the business of moral corruption, she can take on a different role – of the mommy who writes innocent children’s books, praying her kids don’t realize that the closest Madonna got to books in her “previous life” was her album “Bedtime Stories.”

When did these Hollywoodites become the second coming of Dr. Joyce Brothers? Most of them suffer from incredible insecurity and are incapable of functioning in a normal world, and that is why they end up in Hollywood.

It is later on in life, when they worry about losing a grip on their stardom that they begin to seek alternate routes of attention.

Enter Mommy Madonna.

Send comments to Danielle at [email protected]